Choosing Not to Spank - Part 4

by Laurie Morgan

THE PROVERBS

Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him..”

Here, the rod is very clearly a metaphor for correction itself. It is very plain English, but many people still do not understand. Saying the “rod OF correction” means that it is correction -- being described to be like a rod -- that drives folly from the heart of a child. The "rod of correction" is like the "long arm of the law". Is the law literally a long arm?? No. Is correction literally a rod? No.

This explanation can apply to other so-called “rod” scriptures: Proverbs 23:13, for example which says, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.” What rod? The rod of correction. In any case, the Proverb does not say that if you don't use a rod he will die, so there is room here for other (possibly better) ways to save the child from spiritual death. It is definitely beyond the capacity of some people to apply spanking in a way that even approaches the good outcomes of not spanking. I have found that many Christian parents’ beliefs would require them spank just to fulfill a biblical mandate, even if their child never did anything that they felt required a spanking. This is outrageous, but most people don’t even examine such ridiculous reasoning beliefs because they have made an unquestioned assumption which allows them to feel forever justified. But no matter what, the Bible absolutely does not command parents to spank, as in "thou shalt spank..."

Getting back to the scriptures; Proverbs 10:13 says, “In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.”

The rod is not necessarily literal here either. I see no mention of the age of the recipient of the rod here, but as I previously demonstrated, a child that is young enough to be "devoid of understanding" is by definition too young to be spanked, even by unusual standards. There is definitely no command here for parents to spank their children.

Ironically, Proverbs 3:11 is often used to advocate spanking despite the fact that its subject is clearly correction, “My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

Chastening and correcting are not equal to spanking. God has never hit me.

Proverbs 20:30 says, “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.”

This does not by any means give us permission as parents to “cleanse” anyone else. This scripture is for the individual to use to help himself, not for parents to use against other (little) people! In any case, what kind of parent would believe that blue marks and stripes were part of the healthy discipline of a child?

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15. Not to be irritatingly redundant, but again, the rod here can mean the rod of gentle guidance, as in the shepherd's and reproof is correction.

Finally, there is Proverbs 29:17, “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul,” which is also ironically used to excuse spanking. Every scripture quoted above is obviously very true as it applies to guidance, and deserves more attention from all Christian parents. Let me be perfectly clear that I am not advocating permissiveness or the neglect of parental responsibility. The unexamined flaw in many a Christian parent’s thinking is that discipline, correction, and guidance are synonymous with spanking. They aren’t. Everything the Bible commands in this regard can be accomplished without spanking.

I leave you with one final thought. For those who feel nostalgic longing for the “good old days” where children were quick to obey and parents were strict: please remember, it was that kind of parenting that created the world we live in today. It is time for kinder, gentler, more biblical parenting.

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Copyright 2000 by Laurie Morgan
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