Re: The Five Steps
 

I had never heard of this! I am going to try it with my 2 and 4 yo dd today! What do you do when you have more than one who needs a bear hug at the same time?? I'm strong but :shrug

Re: The Five Steps
 

well the Bear Hug really only is needed if the child is melting down and becoming violent. Most things should be resolved at the helping stage. If two children do melt down together I pull them in the best I can. I've been known to bear hug one child with my arms and another with my legs :)

Re: The Five Steps
 

What do you do when they WANT you to 'help" them do EVERYTHING, to the point of enabling them? My ds would totally "let me" do everything for him. Even when he is physically capable. :shrug

Re: The Five Steps
 

:popcorn dd can do the same.

Re: The Five Steps
 

my 3 year old is in the same 'stage' right now. :shrug Luckily my 5 yr old grew out of it.

Re: The Five Steps
 

:popcorn
Dd does this too.

Re: The Five Steps
 

One thing I ahve done is to help with everything *before* they ask. "Here...let momma do that! Here....Momma needs to do XXXX" In a couple days he is all about "NO! Ikey do it byself!" Sometimes we do playful things, "You can put your socks on." "Oh, you don't want to? Well...let's BOUNCE really HIIIIIIGH! Ok...now put your sock on. We will bounce really high again after your sock is on." then we keep alternating him doing something and bouncing high. Also, doing trades, "I will help you with that, then you help mommy with _______." They love to feel like they are helping. It just depends on *what* they aren't doing. 3 year olds still need a *lot* of help even whent hey can do it by themsleves sometimes. It is hard to remember they can't do it by themsleves *all* the time.

Re: The Five Steps
 

AJ went through a phase like that. But it was just a phase--like most things with kids are--and eventually it passes, especially since they are usually eager to be self-sufficient and show how much they can do. I started 5 stepping A when she was 12 months, and I think the helping-with-everything phase came between 15-18 months and lasted less than a month. I saw it as a test--did I mean what I said when I told her I'd help? Would I really help or would I just try to cajole her to do it herself?

I know I go through phases of wanting someone to help me with everything--I just can't admit it because I'm an adult. :cool

It'll pass, don't worry!

Re: The Five Steps
 

is there a reson this is not stikied?

Re: The Five Steps
 

I don't think there's a deep reason. :think I'm guessing maybe I figured that since it's the GD Info and FAQs forum, it wasn't necessary for it to be stickied. ? I kinda look at this forum as one big sticky. :-)

Most of the threads stickied in this forum are threads which contain combined past posts about topics, also the links thread is stickied, the thread about GD books, the statement about TCS and a couple others. :think

They are all great threads, though. :tu

Re: The Five Steps
 

I found them in spanish this week :giggle

http://familialibre.com/blog/articul...a-en-la-gracia

Re: The Five Steps
 

:rockon

And I see it was translated with permission. I wonder by whom?

Re: The Five Steps
 

:cup - wanted to sub to this because I've read several references to the five steps and wanted to know what it was / how to put it into practice

Re: The Five Steps
 

I have read something very similar to this in How to Really Parent Your Child by Ross Campbell. I do really like his book. But like everything I have done up till now I never stick with anything for long. I usually am just trying to find a solution for yesterdays dilemma and in 6mos I've forgotten all about it. Odd though that here I am and this is being recomended to me again! I really did like the outcome though when using them as steps.

For real life application questions though...Has the 5 steps proven more successful for you only with younger children? How would you incorporate it with a 6 and 7yo? For ex. 6 & 7yo playing in room, you pop in ask them to get ready for bed, minutes later they are still giggling and clearly playing, pop in and tell them to get pajamas on and such, minutes later ask if they need help getting ready? And then what? What if they don't comply but there is no need for a 'bear hug'? :shrug3

Re: The Five Steps
 

I was also wondering the same thing, Only my dd is 11 yo. Is it possible to do this at this age? Or some modified version?:shrug3

Thanks, ~Tea~