Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

I can only guess but seek real-life experiences - what do you do when:

1. Your 1-2yo toddler doesn't let daddy or anyone else put him to sleep

2. New baby comes along!


My dad's wife (who is due any day now) is worried herself sick. No, the said toddler (2yo2mos) doesn't nurse to sleep. He is one of those very attached-to-mummy boys and still won't let daddy put him to sleep without crying.

Disaster waiting to happen?

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

No advice, just wanting to hear responses. :heart

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

There are no easy, painless ways to add a new person to your life. :no

How does the toddler go to sleep now? Usually, I could sit in the room with the toddler and nurse the baby. Or the toddler learned a new way to fall asleep. :) Transition can be difficult, but searching for a solution that will be perfect is the surest way to drive yourself crazy. ;)

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

Both my dds were (are!) intense Mommy's girls.

R was nursing to sleep up to when A was born. Somehow she magically started going down okayish for dh when we needed it to happen. I still nursed her down for naps - I'd get A down, then get R down (hopefully before A needed me again), then get A down again (hopefully before R needed me again). Eventually this led to R giving up naps early, but it all worked out well enough.

And A was still nursing down when J was born. We kind of shuffled kids around - dh and I would take turns holding J as he got R down and I got A down (still nursing to sleep). Then we transitioned to A falling asleep leaning against me on the couch (this was unplanned, btw, just sort of happened). Now I sit with her on the bed, holding J as needed. Fortunately J will go to sleep for daddy (first baby who has), so I usually don't need to get him.

In any case, we just made do - didn't do much planning or anything, just figured things out when the time came - and it has all worked out fairly well :).

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

It's all going to get crazy when the new baby comes anyway so I'm not sure theres much value in worrying or making a perfect plan ahead of time. Not that I listened to that before DD2 came. :shifty;)

After the new baby, I would nurse the baby while DH got Lydia ready for bed and read to her. Then DH wore the baby in the Ergo while I nursed Lydia to sleep. Then I (rarely) reveled in the fact that no one was nursing or ran to fetch the baby and started nursing some more. :crazy

Even if we'd had a better Plan, I'm not sure it would have helPed bc Lydia really struggled for a while, only wanting me, started night waking all over, screaming for hours in the middle of the night. It was just something she had to work through and it wasnt painless for anyone involved. :shifty

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

:yes there's no point in planning because it won't turn out like she thinks it will. I'm sole nighttime parent most of the time. Bedtime looks like: me tandem nursing until both are drowsy then laying the toddler down and continuing to nurse the baby to sleep in the living room or beside the toddler if it's a bad night. Nursing the toddler with the baby in the sling with a paci. Nursing the toddler with the baby on the bed with a paci. Nursing the baby side lying while the toddler cuddles with my back. DH holding sleeping baby while I get the toddler settled for sleep.
So yeah, there is no perfect way. It just took trial and error. Before DC Lucca nursed to sleep and I slept with her. Now she puts herself to sleep and sleeps all night in her bed in her room. I never would have predicted or planned that, it's just what happened. If I knew your dads wife, I would tell her there's no point in worrying, somehow it will al work out. For the first couple months she won't know how it worked, but it will have worked. Actually I have a thread like this in here from when I was pregnant. I worried so much about how it would work, but somehow it just did.

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

I agree with not trying to plan it. Child one may SHOCK her and become a daddy's girl once there is a new person always attached to mom.

And, you know, crying with dad happens :shrug3 Crying with dad (as long as dad is a good loving dad) is not the end of the world. Mom CAN'T be everywhere at once and toddler will be ok with daddy-truely.

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

i use that as baby bonding to daddy time or I integrate the two together at bedtime.

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

Totally agree with Calee!

I worried, too, and tried to plan every possible situation when I was pregnant. Never works.

There's been a lot of tears, but it does work out. We had lots of MommyToddlerBaby naps. Crying with daddy when they want mommy is, like Calee said, not the end of the world.

Of course we do our best to help them. The cool part is that they are more flexible than you think and adapt so quickly! Our little boy grew up SO fast once the baby was born. Actually, as I type this, I am nursing the baby in the recliner and the toddler just sent himself to bed. I tucked him in and closed the door and said, "have a good nap, darling!" and he said "mmm-hmmm!" and snuggled into his pillow. Ya. 5 months ago? Woulda been a scream-fest complete with frantic puking and terrified panic.

They learn quickly through circumstances!!

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

They wil find their way with it all.What does getting toddler to sleep look like now? If she lies down with maybe start including dad on one side so that toddler is more used to dad becoming a part of that.Will she be nursing NB? Try to have NB nursed up and have a daddy time while mom does usual routine? God gave mama 2 arms so could nurse baby on one side and hold toddler with other arm either lying down or in big comfy chair. If she is going to bottle feed then dad could still have a daddy time with NB while regular routine happens

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

I was worried about it too and now I have two :shrug3 - but no one wants to just wait and pray for miracles to happen!))) so we were curious how things panned out for others and how human wonders of adaptation happened even with clingiest ones for everyone else)))

Thanks ladies :heart

---------- Post added at 09:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 PM ----------

They tried that for months :shrug3

Actually, what happened more often is:

daddy: let me put him to sleep by myself ->kid screams screams for what feels like eternity -> mum gets too upset -> they give up after 10x mins and lie down together....

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

My oldest was 31 mos and very attached to holding my hair to fall asleep when number two arrived. I asked a similar question leading up to the birth. It all worked out. We mostly all snuggled in my bed. Other times I would get the tiny one to sleep first then use a swing or bouncy while I got the toddler to sleep. Sometimes I wore them both. Sometimes the two yo would look at books while I bounced the baby on the yoga ball... Then it was his turn! Lol

You just make it work. It will work.

The night after our second was born oldest let Papa hold him so he could reach my hair while I nursed seated on the couch. The four of us were quite the site!! Lol. One of my favorite memories....

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

that is soooooo cute. :melting

Re: Painless bedtime transition from 1 to 2 kids
 

I just put both to sleep in turns, older one first, then baby.