Siblings have feelings too you know
 

So last week the kids were talking awful to each other, yelling at each other. K loves Lego but he tends to leave these huge creations right in the middle f the floor so they do get tripped ver and sometimes knocked down and they fall apart when that happens. He screamed at whoever did it even if they were trying to apologize and help fix it. J likes teasing M who then shouts at him to shut up and calls him names. Q is usually the one K is yelling at and he hits when someone yells at him.:doh So all around a hairy mess. At the end of the day, I sat down with them all to read a Bible story but I didn't read anything, just sat there. They finally asked if I was going to read anything. I said I'm enjoying this nice quietness. There's been so much yelling and name calling and poor behavior all day that I am exhausted. Nothing I've said, done has made any difference and I can't handle another day like this so I'm going to tell you a story. "What would you think if Aunt K came over and was being silly and dancing around in the kitchen and knocked my new shelf down and broke it and all my tea cups and jars and as she was saying "oh no! I didn't mean to do that! I'll clean it up, buy you new cups and stuff!" And I just started screaming and (here I did a very good imitation of them with loud screeching, names they used, stomping my feet, etc)called her names and said she was horrible and talked to her like you all have been talking to each other all day?" They all sat there with wide eyes and were very quiet and then Q said"but mama!! That would make aunt K feel so bad! That would hurt her feelings!!":idea I said BINGO! Now see guys? If even Q who is the littlest can figure that out, you all can understand that talking that way to people-even your brothers or sister!!- makes them feel bad. And none of us like to feel bad so when we do, we tend to do or say things to make others feel bad too, and then we go on and on and have a terrible awful day like today. Now who knows how we can do thing different tomorrow? They all listed ideas: no yelling, no name calling unless they were being silly, no hitting, no screaming, put Lego in safe place, put books and babies in room, not pester people when they say stop, respect their "no" or "stop".... And then Q says "and mama, don't you yell at aunt K if she breaks your tea cups and shelf!!":spitAnd when aunt K came over, he told her all about it. And then he told grandma too: "Even brothers and sisters have feelings! Don't hurt them!":rockon anyway. It seems to have made an impression and things have been much nicer. Of course, not perfect, but still, better!

Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
 

Love that you found a "low tide" moment when everyone was ready to listen and engage to talk to them. I often find myself lecturing when feelings are too high for listening to happen. Or I intended to circle back and discuss once people are more calm...and then forget to do it (until they are squabbling again and it is too late :doh).

And I love the ideas they came up with. :heart Would a list or visual reminder of some sort help them remember some of the awesome suggestions they made?

Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
 

You handled that beautifully. Thank you for sharing :hug

Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
 

:highfive :heart

Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
 

:thumbsup
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