Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

Both my older two quit napping by 18 months. We have always had a 7pm bedtime.

I definitely think she sounds OVER tired, and I bet you see great improvement with an earlier bedtime. :yes She is going to have lots of problems if she has been in the habbit of an 11 to 1am bedtime on any regular basis. (I realize you tried to get her asleep earlier than this. :hug ) Sometimes when we try to do bed after they reach that tired point (usually much earlier than most people think) then it really CAN take hours for them to finally fall asleep.

I really like the idea of water play/bath for the "witching hour" as it's called in many homes.

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

:hugheart My two are the same age apart and that pregnancy was HARD. My oldest was so difficult and I remember being 8 months pregnant, recovering from a hospital stay (had H1N1), and trying to restrain him while he hit and kicked me. Try some of the things PP's suggested. And know that it WILL get better :hug

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

I really feel like for the most part skipping the naps have helped. We are in bed much earlier and falling asleep isnt a fight. And yes she is very grumpy before bed time but if i put her to bed earlier wont she just wake up earlier? If she is sleeping from say 8pm-9am and i put her to bed at 6pm then she will wake up at 7am and still be awake the same amount of time and still be grumpy? I am also scared to put her to bed that early because she also has started about once a week waking up around 3am and thinking its morning.... not fun when your sick:(. Is this a normal 2 yr old thing? Anyway Since she only sleeps if im next to her i would much rather keep the times we have now. But i do think i will get her ready for bed earlier so we can just lay down at 8 and go to sleep. As far as short naps thats normally all she did anyway. I will also try bathtime around 7usher. Thanks

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

You have gotten some good advice but I wanted to add, I recommend to cut the tv out. I think that overstimulates them in a bad way and interferes with sleeping. Even if it gives you peace and quiet at the time, the long term cost of it is not worth it in my opinion.

Set up your days with a loose structure to them (for example, breakfast, play outside, morning rest, read a book, lunch, inside play, afternoon snack...) And I don't mean you have to play with her, just let her figure out what to do and she can be near you while you are working on whatever you need to do. The routine helps you and them in so many ways.

It is a busy and tiring time of life. :hug

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

From my personal experience, going to be earlier has gotten them to sleep longer and better once they drop naps. It seems counter intuitive, but it works.

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

:hug pregnancy turns me into an ogre I struggle so muchbwith kindness...ethic just common descencey. :bag I wish I had helpful suggestions... my only advice is that I have found- I rarely parent the way I want to when pregnant, we celebrate the goood days...and watch too much Tv and eat snacks on the couch on the bad. It is a season...lower your expectations, celebrate small successes (I'm talking *small* ) and try to enjoy moments of the ride. Welcoming another person into your life means you will never parent the same...and it changes with each new person that comes. because even when they are smaller than a grain of rice they are changing the dynamic...stretching more than your skin in preperation for their place in your pves..mit is ok to struggle, to grieve the changes...you guys will get to the new place and you'll wonder how you ever were with out the newest memmlber. :hear

Sorry if that :up is a bit preachy ..nak and hurrying :bag

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

I thought it woul make them wake up earlier too, but that hasn't been true for us. If they've not had enough sleep, and I put them to bed earlier, they sleep later. My 3.5 had a messed-up week last week and was up late. This week, she's been going to bed between 7-8 and sleeping until 8-9 a.m. Yep. 13 hours sttn. It's glorious. :shifty

Well, it'd be more glorious if her younger sister did the same thing. :doh

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

You've gotten good advice about the nap dropping transition. That's a hard transition! Do you think that's the main issue? Pregnancy can bring out our worst parenting sometimes. There may be more that can help you to find balance. :hug

What are areas you're willing to let go? For instance, would it be helpful if you didn't have to struggle to get pj's on and just let her sleep in a diaper with extra blankets or the thermostat turned up or maybe just letting her sleep in her clothes?

Does her watching tv bother you because you have strong beliefs on this subject or are you concerned that it isn't what good parents do? Do you think extra tv is affecting her sleep? If you're only bothered because of what others might think, try to let that go. If it is something more, reflect on that and decide whether it's a big enough deal for you to try and cut back or if you are actually okay with it for this season in your lives.


Is it feasible to get a slide or something in your house for her to practice some gross motor skills while you rest nearby? A slide in the living room can get toddler energy out while mommy is able to stay nearby, on the couch, and rest.

What can your DH do to help you? Can he take over bedtime? Is there any area that he can take over for this season?

:hug it'll get better. Nap dropping plus pregnancy is really hard!

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

Also, a little bit of letting you know you are not alone... When I was pregnant with DD2 I was very very angry all the time... rage-y really. I could not stand being touched one more time... ever. She was still waking up 2398529845 times at night... it ended immediately with birth. I was fine.

When I was about 5 months along I got to where I could bite my tongue and walk away and cry and hit something instead of wanting to take it out on dd1. I remember that feeling of wanting to just shake her.... I remember it vividly one time that I actually grabbed her and picked her up in front of me before my senses kicked in and I just hugged her instead of shaking her. :(

But it did end... and I've never had that with another pregnancy.

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

Thanks guys I'm just glad I'm not the only one... and I do need to lower my standards for myself. I am to hard on myself. I hate that she watches to much TV. But only cause it makes me feel like a bad mom. I honestly don't care to watch cartoons all day:) I just wish I wasn't so grumpy. I totally get the not wanting to even be touched. I really really wanted to let her wean herself but it's so painful and I can't stand for her to touch me when she nurses. So we are down to just bed time. But she broke my heart the other day. I was laying on the couch and she climbed up on me and laid her head on my chest and I asked her what she was doing and she said I miss your wawa's mommy. Wawa's is what she calls them. Oh my gosh I just sat there and cried... I feel like I'm failing her:( I knew once the baby came things would be different but I didn't think being pregnant would be so hard:(

---------- Post added at 02:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:15 PM ----------

Oh and i wish dh could do bed time but she is so much of a moms girl daddy cant get near her unless its on her terms... im planning to make him do more with the new baby. He worked 3rd shift when dd was little and all she had was me and. Now that he is home she wont let him help.

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

IME 2yr old's (except my #2 :shifty) average 11-13/14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. :shiftyYeah I've added it up:giggle

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

It IS hard. :hug2 we had an I miss nursing moment like that too. I soooo wanted to let DD1 wean herself too. My body just didn't like nursing while pg or tandem nursing. :( But you aren't failing her, Mama. You are still there for her, and this will be a time of learning to connect and love on each other in other ways.

It is okay to mourn the loss of the nursing relationship you wanted too. :hug2

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

Just going to nod in agreement about early bedtimes. my 18 month old and 3 year old go to bed at 6. :yes

I think this is a great time for you all to build a really solid sleep routine. Take a few weeks and figure out what works for you then you'll have the whole summer to get it set.in.stone. before the baby comes. My kids know that we do XYZ every single night. We eat dinner, do chores, teeth & PJs, one song, sleep. It could be 4:30 or 10:30 and they'd fall asleep because those actions in a row = sleeping time. :giggle

I'd also encourage you, as you teach her this new routine, to have daddy heavily involved for easier transition once baby comes. :yes :heart

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

:hug it is hard. It's a big change. You aren't failing her. Things may not be ideal for this transitional season of your lives but you're not failing her. :hug

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 

What if you left the house a couple of nights a week? (coffee shop, grocery shopping or whatever) The Dh and DD could learn to do bedtime on their own.