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-   -   i need help from mammas with 2+ kids (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=444608)

jewel97 03-29-2012 05:58 PM

i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
My dd will be 2 in may and I am expecting in October. My patience is non existent... I. Zam sick all the time I can hardly get off the couch. she watches WAY to much Tv... she also has never been a good sleeper. She is finally sleeping longer at night but is having a very hard time falling sleep, most nights it's like 2 hrs of fighting and her going to bed between 11pm and 1 am. This week she has dropped her nap and is falling sleep much easier and between 8-9 pm. The problem with no nap is she is sooooo fussy by like 6. I'm losing my mind!!! Tonight I was so mean to her:( I feel so terrible! I feel like a terrib mommy. I cant do anything wifh her... but tonight was the worst i think. she was so tired. Tonihht ahe went from playing to screaming her head off in about 30 secs i needed to change her diaper and put jammies on before foing to bed. But she was a monster kicking my belly, screaming, triying to get away.... i lost it. I started screaning at her and and it was really all I could do to keep myself from shaking her... it was very scary for me so I can't imagineed how she felt:(

What do I do? How do I handle having no patience? Normally I have so much... it has for be the pregnancy. But I can't yell at her like that again... help!!!

Apple-Saucy 03-29-2012 06:03 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
I would wake her up earlier so she will take an earlier nap and keep the nap short.

My current 2yr old wakes up around 8am lays down for a nap after lunch (about 2 hours) and by nap I mean she's in the bedroom...some days she just plays quietly but most of the time she'll go to sleep fairly quickly. She's typically ready to go to bed for the night around 8:30pm

Other kids when they were 2....#1 about the same as above. #2 I swear he never ever slept. :shifty #3 started dropping her nap around 2-2.5 but then would go to bed around 7pm.

WI Mama05 03-29-2012 06:06 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
If she's dropping her nap, I would try to get her to bed earlier. What time is she waking up?

My oldest was yours age when I was pg with #2. :hugheart

Llee 03-29-2012 06:17 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
:hug

It's not easy being pregnant and mothering a two-year-old.

What would happen if you skipped nap and she went to sleep by 6:30. That's about the time ours go to sleep when they drop nap (well, anywhere from 5:45-7, depending on when they got up). Yes, it means we don't do a lot of evening things, but it also keeps me sane. ;)

jewel97 03-29-2012 06:19 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
She wakes up around 830-930 but she doest get tired until 5 usher and when she naps that late night time is a disaster

klpmommy 03-29-2012 06:21 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
my 2 y.o's have all woken around 5:30-6, not napped & been in bed for the night around 6pm. (for the night might still involve night nursing & always involves snuggles as I cosleep) The amazingly early bedtime is necessary for my sanity.

my worst parenting is always when I;m preg :hug

:nak

lizzyd 03-29-2012 06:42 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
I would try implementing a routine for her. She sounds overtired. I think she is too young to completely drop her nap. Too much TV could also be a culprit. Check out the book "No-Cry Sleep Solution" for some ideas.

WI Mama05 03-29-2012 06:53 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
Kids vary. One of mine was DONE napping by 2. If what you are doing now is not working, try something else! You have time to get a routine that works for you both down before the new baby comes.

L-Boogie 03-29-2012 07:01 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
All mamas make mistakes. :heart It's important to forgive yourself. :heart

I would try letting her nap but only for 1/2 hour or so.
I was really nauseous during my 1st trimester with dd2. :hugheart We read a lot of books so that I wasn't chasing her so much.

KarenBoo 03-29-2012 07:03 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
Your story sounds very similar to mine, except that Kitten was almost 4 when I was pregnant with Monkey. I actually had a "personality change." I had never lost my patience with Kitten before, and I started yelling at her during my pregnancy. I also was very sick and couldn't get off of the couch for most of the pregnancy and I was in some crazy pain for most of it. I was depressed, and I learned in my second trimester that I was severely anemic. (It wasn't caught with the routine tests - my chiro told me to get my ferratin checked, and that was waaay too low.)

Kitten and I sat on the couch all day watching Nick Jr. (It was called something else back then.) Before then, she was only allowed about 45 min of TV per day. But we literally sat together and watched TV all day long because I simply couldn't do anything else. DH did all the meal prep and laundry. :heart

I spoke with my naturopath, my homeopath, and my midwives about my grumpiness, and nobody took me seriously. Everyone, even me, chalked it up to pregnancy hormones. I'm not sure if there is really anything to be done about it, but I was just horrified that I was yelling at Kitten when I never had before. I was always so patient and kind with her in the past.

I would at least get your ferratin checked because anemia can make you grumpy. Thyroid issues can also make you grumpy and pregnancy can whack out your thyroid.

As for the napping - Kitten dropped naps at age 2 and I had to be very strict about bedtime after that. I believe we were in bed at 6:00 for story time and lights out at 6:30. She was always a very early riser though, so we were up at 5:00am every morning. But if we weren't in bed doing stories on time, the evening was a nightmare until I could get her to sleep.

Hugs to you during this difficult time.:hug2

SweetCaroline 03-29-2012 07:41 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
another vote for a 7 oclock bed time. get her teeth,diaper,pj's before she gets too tired..slip her some calms4kids about 10 minutes before do bed time stuff (nurse..whatever)

:hug

Lady Grey 03-29-2012 07:48 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
:hug2

I would try possibly waking her up a bit earlier and inducing an earlier nap via stroller or car for a few days to help "reset" her clock.

Can you stick her in the tub at the grumpy hour? Or even playing with water in the sink.

WingsOfTheMorning 03-29-2012 07:53 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
:hug2 Another vote that she sounds waaay overtired in the evening.

Doing a short nap might be good...that never worked for us. Lydia would sleep for 2-3 hours and waking her up she was just sooo grumpy. So we dropped the nap and went to a 6 pm bedtime (started books and jammies then, asleep by 6:45).

We also did quiet time after lunch where I would rest/doze on the couch while she watched a video. That time of zoning out really seemed to help her make it to bedtime more easily.

At first, we couldn't drive anywhere after about 4 b/c she would fall asleep. I tried to do activities in the afternoon that didn't involve fine motor skills...nothing frustrating...just playing outside or taking a long bath (I would roll out a sleeping bag in the hallway so I could rest and keep an eye on her).

It will take some experimenting to see what works for you both. :hug2

Lady Grey 03-29-2012 07:58 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
Oh and definitely snacks and nursery rhymes/songs to avoid disasterous car naps. Not sure how verbal your child is. At 2 mine could fill in the blanks of favorite nursery rhymes..... "one two, buckle my _____"

klpmommy 03-29-2012 08:02 PM

Re: i need help from mammas with 2+ kids
 
my best "giving up naps" tricks are to make sure there is a mid-day rest time (before they get too tired and actually fall asleep b/c none of mine have done well if woken from a "short nap"), to have an extra good-energy afternoon snack and to be sure we get some big energy outside time at some point. avoid the car in the late afternoon. make the bedtime routine short.


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