Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
:popcorn I'm thinking about getting this book.
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Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
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Snapdragon is making real progress in problem solving--it's quite amazing, actually. He goes through a process similar to this. I think I'll print this out and show it to him, so that when he gets stuck on a part I can remind him what to do. "good job. You've identified the problem. What can we do about it?" Thank you! |
Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
Great! :tu
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Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
Hi canadiyank... Thanks for referring me over here... Both dh and I are feeling frustrated in particular with ds' constant unhappiness about being "lonely". I have to admit I'm having a little difficulty coming up with solutions for sadness over loneliness... :think He already has a very full social life, and we can't provide any more social outlets at this point. So basically we need to be able to comfort, teach, coach and support without changing the situation... that's the hard part... I'm open to any suggestions...
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2. acknowledge the loneliness. "It's okay to feel lonely" 3. set limits "And I will not let you.... " what? I don't know how to set limits on this excessive crying, whining and upset over feeling lonely... :scratch 4. offer choices... I do this constantly... you can either watch a movie or visit dad in the hair salon... he isn't interested in either, and continues to engage in talking to me about how miserable he is or sits there crying. :sigh 5. offer support "Would you like me to put a movie on or get you a book to look at in the hair salon?" When I do this he says no and continues complaining and crying? I'm really not trying to be difficult or argumentative... I'm just really having a hard time with seeing how this would play out. Am I missing something here? |
Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
That is specific protocol for a "crisis" (i.e., temper tantrums), i.e., #3 would be something like, "And I won't let you hurt your brother."
I haven't finished reviewing the book - I'd highly recommend buying it or borrowing it from the library. There's lots of exercises in it that I don't describe here. Did you read the part about the self-comforting tools and how to teach them? That is a lot more relevant to your issues, I think. (Sorry if I sound short...I'm feeling absolutely horrid right now.) |
Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
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So Chris, you did exactly the right thing - helping him find a physical outlet (outdoor exercise) that was helpful, that replaced an unacceptable one (beating on things). |
Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary
I'm so here. Must read.
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