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-   -   s/o parenting self-talk (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=341475)

Aisling 03-01-2010 02:49 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
"It's OK to not be perfect. It's OK to not be perfect. It's really OK...."

"They won't be this age forever."

"Model what you want, Ash. And later, I will give you a nice hot bath." :shifty

Maggirayne 03-01-2010 03:02 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gentlebirth (Post 2931057)
"Model what you want, Ash. And later, I will give you a nice hot bath." :shifty

:haha

Tasmanian Saint 03-02-2010 01:51 AM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
I only just discovered this thread and it has been so useful! Thank you ladies!

Slightly different idea, but I sometimes remember to turn "What punishment can I use show him that this behaviour really is unacceptable" into "How can I help him to do better?"

And after I've failed yet again and I find myself caught in a useless cycle of self-berating, I remind myself, "If I were a perfect Mummy, I'd have to manufacture bad interactions so he wouldn't grow up with unrealistic expectations of his future relationships" :D

MomtoJGJ 03-02-2010 04:36 AM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tasmanian Saint (Post 2932404)
And after I've failed yet again and I find myself caught in a useless cycle of self-berating, I remind myself, "If I were a perfect Mummy, I'd have to manufacture bad interactions so he wouldn't grow up with unrealistic expectations of his future relationships" :D

That is great!! :) unfortunately I have girls, but at least I'm teaching them that it's ok to mess up, right?

fairolivia 03-02-2010 10:22 AM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
"Model what you want, Ash. And later, I will give you a nice hot bath." :shifty[/QUOTE]

Love it! Need it! :yes
Now if I could just remember these! My friend, IRL and here, always has wonderful quotes... practical and inspirational... stuck up on her walls. She usually has them in her kitchen. They change as the need arises. I'm going to work on sticking up a few of these this weekend.

Tasmanian Saint 03-05-2010 02:40 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
great idea, FairOlivia, I think I'll do something similar (after the wedding and birthday party... maybe next weekend :))

Quote:

Originally Posted by MomtoJGJ (Post 2932460)
That is great!! :) unfortunately I have girls, but at least I'm teaching them that it's ok to mess up, right?

I wasn't actually meaning specifically romantic relationships, I meant friendships, sibling relationships, etc. But, yeah, teaching it's ok to mess up and how to fix it. :) :heart

DancingWithElves 03-05-2010 03:00 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
:sh5

if i'm perfect, whatever will they talk to their spouses about?? :shifty :lol


i've got one from the past two days: "you really really want to (spank, yell, be mean) right now, and i understand, you are very angry, but think about how nice it will be to hold him tonight and recount what we did today and not feel guilty and not need to apologize over and over" :heart stops me every time

MomtoJGJ 03-05-2010 04:12 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by belaruska (Post 2941775)
:sh5

i've got one from the past two days: "you really really want to (spank, yell, be mean) right now, and i understand, you are very angry, but think about how nice it will be to hold him tonight and recount what we did today and not feel guilty and not need to apologize over and over" :heart stops me every time


I really really needed to hear that tonight!!! :)

Pearl In Oyster 03-05-2010 04:21 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
:cup I've gotten so much out of this thread!

I don't know if it's ok to post a link, but this article on MSN has some similar things to say:

http://healthyliving.msn.com/default...e&contentId=52

Maggirayne 03-05-2010 08:32 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by belaruska (Post 2941775)
if i'm perfect, whatever will they talk to their spouses about?? :shifty :lol

i've got one from the past two days: "you really really want to (spank, yell, be mean) right now, and i understand, you are very angry, but think about how nice it will be to hold him tonight and recount what we did today and not feel guilty and not need to apologize over and over" :heart stops me every time

Lol!

Oh man, I needed that today. :-/

Tomorrow is a new day.

Tasmanian Saint 03-14-2010 10:20 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
So I've finally finished writing down all these lovely ideas in my journal...

2 questions:

Anyone else think this should be a sticky?

and

Can anyone point me to the laziness spinoff?

Thanks :)

jandjmommy 03-16-2010 06:03 AM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
Thanks for this. I have a 6 yr old & 3 yr old. With kids this age would you talk yourself through out loud or just in your head? Also, has anyone gotten to a point that you gain enough control over your reactions to not need to walk away? For now walking away would be better than staying and spewing but not sure I want to model retreat as response to stress.

Maggirayne 03-16-2010 04:50 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
I talk outloud, oherwise I can't hear myself. :shifty

It's better to remove yourself than do something you regret. I see it as an aspect of self-discipline. :shrug3

allisonintx 03-16-2010 05:33 PM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
I've been re-parenting myself for a long time, and still find walking away to cool off is a valuable tool.

DancingWithElves 03-17-2010 08:03 AM

Re: s/o parenting self-talk
 
i think retreat is a healthy response to stress, also modeled by Jesus himself, as long as it is not the *only* one you use. :)

i do out loud and to myself both...

sometimes i do third person... esp. for processing. yesterday instead of telling dh that he needed a nap i said this: "remember how yesterday i was really crabby when i was tired? yeah, mama didn't feel good all, mama gets so grouchy when she's tired, doesn't she? and remember mama went and took a nap while you played with papa? and then she was much nicer, right?" (he nodded enthusiastically :) )


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