Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Since this is in a public part of the forum-can I have dh read the op? We are struggling with how we view things as defiance.
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
:bump
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Subbing.
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Thanks Crystal, that was a really simple way of putting it. I really appreciate that. It certainly will make me think when it comes to the children and their defiance. I do have a question though, not sure whether this has already been discussed as I only your original post. What if the defiance is against doing something? Eg my daughter was adamant that she was not going to do her school work with me yesterday, I have no idea why but she was in a very cranky mood not wanting to do anything at all that I suggested. How do you deal with that? Do you as the parent ask why she is feeling that way, why she is not wanting to do school work? Sorry, but I am only just beginning on my journey as a grace based parent.
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
I will hunt out that other thread. But thank you, that so makes sense.
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Way old thread that I want to sub :) Great stuff here. :heart
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
me, too :shifty
thanks for bumping it so I could find it :grin |
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
Now that he is older when he is defient I have discovered it is usually because I've either not been consistent or I have treated him unjustly and he is defiant and uncooperative out of hurt and anger, that is MY fault, it doesn't excuse him but it does help me understand, then I step forward and apologize, re-establish boundaries etc and almost immediately he is a different child. I'm modeling correct behavior and addressed the true situation, his defiance was a helpless, hurt, and/or confused child's reaction to confusing boundaries/authority and/or unjustness. |
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
For my oldest, I've noticed "defiance" during stress times and age changes. I think the age changes may be a hormonal shift. :shrug When she feels out of control, she becomes oppositional and fights me for control over everything going on in our home. We keep our boundaries but make space for extra choice making for her during those times. We try to allow her to feel more in control without becoming permissive and losing all boundaries. We reasses some of them to make sure they're necessary. Mostly we just wait the phase out.
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
|
Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Thanks, that is a very helpful way of looking at things (that kids may be testing the rule for greater understanding, rather than testing a parent for "weakness"). I'll try to tuck that info in the back of my mind somewhere for any future frustrating moments.
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:46 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information | |
---|---|
|
|
More Information | |
Template Usage:
Phrase Groups Available:
|
Included Files:
Hooks Called:
|