refusing to wipe herself
 

Little Miss is closing in on 4.5. And she is refusing to wipe herself; she wants one of us (dh or me) to do it for her.

eta: to clarify, this is wiping herself after peeing (pooping, I kind of expect to help her with; but peeing? she'd been doing it herself and now just downright refuses. to the point of tears :shrug)

What should I do here?

How can I encourage her to do this? She offers me no reason except, "I don't want to do it."

Should we do it for her (my dh is beginning to feel uncomfortable with this; he would like her to be doing it herself)?

Is "I don't want to do it / I don't like to do it?" a valid reason for us to do it?

:help

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

I wiped mine until they quit asking pretty much. At some point, I encouraged them "give it a shot, and then I'll come help" stuff like that. But annoying as it was, it's better than skidmarks which is the other option. Or a kid who dreads going to the bathroom, so holds it longer, etc.

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

Hmmmm....I dont know. None of my boys were interested in wiping themselves at that age. In fact my 6 year old still sometimes asks me to help him. :)

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

I wondered about this :yes I don't want to make going to the bathroom any kind of issue. :no

And, if I can remember to remind myself, she started using the potty on her time and has had nary an accident. I guess I'll just go with it.

:ty

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

I wrote a nearly identical post about Sprite when she was 4.5! She *raged* and she never, ever rages. :jawdrop

I'm trying to remember how it stopped. :O I think we just insisted, despite the drama, and eventually, it became a non-issue. I'm sorry that's not more help! :bag


**edit: We did get her some of those chemically, fruity smelling flushable wipes, and that seemed to help, IIRC

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

We started by "helping" hand-over-hand, then saying "you try first, then I'll wipe to make sure you got it all", then just a visual check, and eventually DD was wiping on her own. DS still needs some help at 5. We're working on the transition with him now.
Heather

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

:ty

and thanks for the reminder about flushable wipes. I keep forgetting I want to pick some up. :doh *Just* told dh to get some on his way home from work :yes

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

Wasn't wroth the money for me. Getting off my butt and going to wipe a hiney was worth saving a couple bucks for me I guess. Plus I viewed it as another service to my children. I didn't resent or regret nursing on cue, or waking at night, etc. so why resent wiping a butt esp when so many kids are NOT wiping or having issues with it at this age? I'm notoriously laid back though.

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

When my son hit 5.5 I told him "your bottom, your responsibility." He was angry--really angry "It's NOT MY JOB!" he screamed-- but after about the 2nd or 3rd time of me insisting, it became a non-issue. I still check when he's finished, to make sure he got everything.

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

You make a good point :yes

And as I tell myself regularly, she won't be 15 and calling me in to help her. right? :shifty

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

oh Lord no, they hit 6 and start being really modest and won't even LET you help them when it might be needed IME.

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

Weds went through a helpless phase around that time. I think it was because she was frustrated with not being able to do (physically) all that she felt she should be doing (she could perceive herself as able to do these things) and so she just flat out quit trying things for a while. I wiped her for a bit, then I'd go through showing her how to make herself a decent wipe with the toilet paper (part of the problem, too, was she was wadding up a tiny ball of tp and trying to wipe and getting her hands wet and being annoyed) and handing it over to her to try, with the reminder that it's always, always, alwaysalwaysalways front to back. She's just now trying to work on wiping for poop but it's a process. She's got some other health reasons I don't like that job to be totally solo until she's proficient (adhesions, etc) but she's getting there!

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

Do you mean wiping for poop only, or she wont wipe her vulva either?

DS1 was around 5 or so when he was ready to wipe his own butt, and I was fine w/ that. Id much rather I do it myself until I know the kid will do a good job, rather than get a rash or crusty bum, or for me to be washing skid marks out of undies everyday. The next child did it on her own at a younger age, and the next child younger still (by 3 she was good at it).

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

she's not wiping her vulva :no

she was doing it on her own; but now she is just not wanting to. to the point of tears when I tell her she needs to try.

I definitely don't mind helping her with wiping her bum after pooping.

I don't mind helping her after she pees, either. It's just that she is suddenly vehemently opposed to doing it at all.

Re: refusing to wipe herself
 

I'd ride it out in that case, I originally thougth just the bum as well, I don't recall my kids ever wanting me to wipe the vulva area.