Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I knew some of my mom friends at church used a schedule and have never said a word about it. But I posted the aap recomendation on facebook lastnight along with my well researched opinion and a few of the ladies commented or messaged me saying they are pretty offended I would post that link and that THEIR children did great and it was a life saver for their family. And I had one that said I should remove the offensive picture with the aap recomendations.:shifty I told them that I didn't mean to offend anyone but that after nearly 15 years of researching this issue and now that I am going to college for child development/psychology it's the one parenting topic that I choose to speak out about because it personally affected me and my family. I don't want to lose friends over this but:shrug3 I don't plan to remove it from my page either. But still for this peace lovin' mama it's hard to know that people are upset with me.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

:hug

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I'm sorry they're upset with you. :hug

IMO, if you had posted it on THEIR wall, maybe they could be offended, but you posted it on YOUR wall, and they are free to skim right past it if it doesn't appeal to them, ykwim? I think people need to stop cultivating a "spirit of offense" and not feel like they have to police what you post on your wall.

That said, I totally understand how conflict sucks for those of us who are sensitive to it, and I hope it blows over quickly.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

:hug Sorry you're dealing with this. FB is such a double sided thing. IRT someoen suggesting you "should" do something. I've said more than once to people who make such comments to me "Please do not "should" me. Thank you." And leave it at that. As for their offense, it is their choice. And, yes it is a choice to be offended. :hug It isn't like you posted something from an alternative minded source. It is a mainstream organization.
:hug

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

People told you to take it down off YOUR wall? Whoa.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

They can hide that individual story if it offends them so bad. You don't have to do a thing.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

it's incredibly unboundaried for them to tell you to take it off of your wall. And it's not like you are the AAP :doh

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

What's the app??? :shifty

Otherwise, I can't stand conflict either, but at some point you just have to say, "I am not ultimately responsible for your feelings."

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Sounds like your post hit a nerve. I'd be rather pleased about that, personally. :shifty

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Your board your post. They can hide it from view if it bothers them. I do this regularly!:lol

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

brush off the haters..:shifty

seriously, i really really wish *someone* in the church would have told me that it was ok to NOT schedule,or to pick my baby up when he cried.

keep it up, dont feel bad.you never know who just got the approval to follow their heart

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

AAP = American Academy of Pediatrics

I agree that this shows a serious lack of boundaries on their part and that people have the ability to choose whether or not to be offended. You have the right to speak out for something you feel strongly about, ESPECIALLY when backed by so much research and information.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

What she said!! :yes

:hug Way to go for standing up for it! I hate causing conflict too which is why I don't post about these types of things... I sometimes wish I had more nerve. :O

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Ooooohhhhhhhh!!!! I thought YOU were recommending an "app." I was like I WANT THAT!

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Good for you!! :rockon

ENFP moment here:
My sister tried to pull this "that offends me you shouldn't put it on your wall" crud with me. My response was "My FB is like my home....I can put anything I want on the walls and no one can expect me to change it...because it's mine. Now, if I come in *your* home and start redecorating and putting things on *your* walls....be offended....you would have every right. However, on my wall, just look away or don't comment if you don't like it." doesn't matter now...she doesn't have access. :shifty

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

yep that's what I told her very nicely. she told me that I need to take it off because it's divisive and makes moms feel guilty. And I just told her that if it bothers her she can hide it from her newsfeed :)

---------- Post added at 12:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:17 PM ----------


:lol Sorry about that capitalization probably would have helped with that..:shifty

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

but what about compassion for the moms who feel guilty about not following their heart, but all they've ever heard was scheduling recommendations?

you are not posting to badger the obstinate, but to reach the people who will benefit to hear it

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I think my next post would be one of my favourite quotes...
"Offense is taken, not given. Practice portion control."

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Me + reading comprehension * today:yawn = :td :sillygrin

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

What did you post from the AAP? I am just curious. It is your wall, so I wouldn't take it down. It's not like you tagged the lady in your post or something.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Sounds like they are insecure in *their* parenting decisions. Which is not something you have any control over. :no2

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Ah, it's nice of you to be concerned, but you really aren't causing conflict. :hug

You're posting valuable information, which other people can choose to use in their lives, or not. It's no different than posting information about other nutrition or safety-related topics.

Should you avoid posting about exercise, because this makes non-exercisers feel guilty? Of course not.

Surprised she had the nerve to ask you that. I like Reedle's metaphor about your FB page being like your house - you can put anything on the walls that you like. If others are offended, they don't need to visit.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

:hug

It's really hard for me to feel like people are upset with me because of something I've posted.:yes

But at the same time, if it's important to me, I do it anyway -- you can always let them know this is just one of those things you'll have to "agree to disagree" on. ;)

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I think it was the AAP recommendation against babywise.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one who has had church ladies accusing her of being divisive :hug A friend of mine dealt with a similar FB issue a couple of years ago :sigh

I just tend to not post many links on FB because I don't like drama :shifty :blush

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I tried to tell my story about my experience and then just leave it to agree to disagree but instead they are replying that obviously my problems with it were due to other things not Babywise and oh by the way, watch out for that research cause it's probably not biblical. Ummm, oooookay. I don't think it would even be productive to answer back. One of my other friends though did reply and add some good imput so that was helpful. It may or may not drive me crazy when I have done years of research on a topic only to be dismissed as someone who doesn't know what they are talking about.... I suppose that's prideful but argh..lol *deep breath* One of my research papers I worked on to submit to my teacher she suggested I expand it into a book. I talked about how the treatment of the youngest members of a society reflects on the society in general and how we've come to where we are as an American society... anyway. :P~

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

How could there be biblical research for something that is not addressed in the Bible? Are they saying Babywise is based on biblical research?

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Well, they probably think it is. :sigh

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Yeah, I don't think they are receptive to anything I have to say right now, so I am just leaving it be. I have gone back and forth with other adamant ezzo followers before just not people that I was in playgroup with....:shifty If I choose to go tomorrow it could be interesting....

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I mean, it does have the words "wise" and "baby" in it and so does the Bible. Must be biblical.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

When I first saw the title Babywise, I thought it meant, "I got your number, Baby. I'm wise to you."

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

If you reengage try this: "Posting statements from the American Academy of Pediatrics is not an opinion piece, but a statement by professional. If I had wanted to express my opinion on the issue I would have posted Ezzo.info instead." :shifty

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

And Ezzo is a pastor, so his advice must be biblical. At least that's what I was told (by someone who honestly believed it).

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Does the "excommunicated from at least two churches" not help to sway that opinion? :sigh

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

Whenever I've had people tell me that their babies did fine on a schedule, I replied that that's great, and that some babies can make that adjustment, but schedule-feeding is an ADAPTATION; God designed us to nurse on demand. If anyone studies the physiology of how breastfeeding works, he or she cannot deny that nursing frequently is how we are DESIGNED to give and receive milk as babies. And I have said that the problem is that not all babies and mothers (even most, perhaps) cannot make that adaptation, so it's dangerous to suggest it to people. It can lead to low milk supply or even lactation failure.

But of course, if anyone believes that schedule feeding can be extrapolated from the Bible, you have much bigger hermeneutical issues to disagree over...

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

If I'd known it at the time, I definitely would have challenged her definition of "pastor". :yes

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

From the nitpicker of all things Ezzo: he was actually "only" officially excommunicated from one church, he left two other churches under a cloud. The pastor of one of those other two churches said publicly that they had the same sorts of issues as were documented in the excommunication statement, and that he considered Gary to be unfit for public ministry.

When I think of how many people never leave a church under any sort of cloud much less get to the point of excommunication, it is sort of astonishing to imagine someone could be so unlucky or misunderstood that THREE churches have felt this way about him.

The other thing about the "pastor" credentials is that Ezzo's pastoring experience comes from the church where the senior pastor (who knows the Ezzos very well) said he considered Gary to be unfit for public ministry.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I'm sorry. That's frustrating. I have never found it worthwhile to try to discuss anything with devout Ezzo followers. There are no logical discussions - it's just crazy-making talk. I had one couple (who teach the class at a church) arguing that the quotes I was giving them from an early (1985) edition of the book were just made up, and that the book didn't actually say that. :hunh I considered making copies and faxing it to them, but I was already so done with the conversation at that point that I just walked away from it. I don't have hours on end to argue nonsense. :no

Since then, I just won't engage unless I feel like the person is genuinely interested in hearing another perspective and discovering truth. I think a "I'm sorry you're offended, but I feel like this is something that needs to be said" is completely sufficient. That's what speaking the truth in love is all about, IMO. It doesn't mean the other person has to like what you're saying.

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

I'm another one for FB drama.... I post stuff ALL THE TIME that people get all upset over. What can I say, I like the debate! I only post the REALLY controversial stuff, like circ, vaccines, breastfeeding... y'know :rolleyes

Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.
 

You can delete their posts :) it's your wall