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-   -   A Very Important GCM Statement (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=137905)

ArmsOfLove 10-28-2005 05:44 PM

A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Grace-Based Discipline is a model of discipline which, though it rejects the popular view that the rod references spankings, affirms the authority of parents as outlined in the Bible. Extending grace to our children is not permissiveness. We believe that parents are to set a high standard for behavior and children are to uphold that standard. Many gentle parents are prudent and selective about the type and number of rules they enforce. Many grace based parents enforce those rules using low coercion, cooperation, negotiation and compromise. However, GCM does not embrace the philosophy behind TCS ("Taking Children Seriously") or non-coercive parenting. True, quality discipline combines knowledge of age appropriate behaviors, reasonable standards, clear expectations, proactive discipline and consistency. Grace is extended in a parentís willingness to help their children meet that standard when needed and to forgive when the standard is missed.


This has been composed by the Mods and Admins and representative of the GCM position.
If you have any questions about it, please lmk :)

Cheyenne 10-28-2005 05:52 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Wow, very helpful, thanks!!! :tu

Mother Duck 10-29-2005 04:17 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Very very good - that clarifies a lot in my mind :) :highfive

butterflyqueen71 10-29-2005 05:18 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Quote:

GCM does not embrace the philosophy behind TCS ("Taking Children Seriously") or non-coercive parenting
Forgive my ignorance, but what would this philosophy be... :shrug ? Never heard of it.

Close2MyHeart 10-29-2005 05:22 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kiwimumtomykidz
Very very good - that clarifies a lot in my mind :) :highfive

yup. me too.

ArmsOfLove 10-29-2005 05:40 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cvswirl
Quote:

GCM does not embrace the philosophy behind TCS ("Taking Children Seriously") or non-coercive parenting
Forgive my ignorance, but what would this philosophy be... :shrug ? Never heard of it.

This is a philosophy that considers any coercion to be abusive and believes in honoring whatever is motivating any individual, including children, and always working towards a favorable common preference that will make everyone happy and meet everyone's needs. While I believe finding a favorable common preference is one way to approach a situation and when a solution can meet everyone's needs certainly that is wonderful, TCS/NCP would reject the idea of authority as being God-ordained and the idea that authority can be used non-abusively. "Authority" is viewed as knowledge that one has because of more experience and the responsibility to share it with those with less experience (as in someone is an authority or expert on a subject), but there is no expectation that the person being discipled is under the authority of the one discipling. At it's foundation even religion is considered coercive because it suggests there is are right choices and wrong choices and consequences for making the wrong choices. Whenever possible, what someone wants to do is supposed to be allowed with the belief that the person is able to self regulate and out of a desire to honor the individual and not coerce or force them into doing something they don't choose to do of their own free will.

That's a real nut shell idea of what it teaches.

slingmamaof4 11-03-2005 10:45 AM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Thanks for the clarification of GBD. I had never heard of it before (less than a month ago) when I joined GCM.

fallingmercy 02-27-2006 06:40 AM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Would anyone know where I could print some info for me to read and then talk about to my dh? He's not too into GBD or AP for that matter.

ArmsOfLove 03-22-2006 01:43 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
You may print things from here for personal use and from my website also. http://www.aolff.org

Herbwifemama 03-08-2007 02:32 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
So, does Unconditional Parenting fall under the NCP umbrella?

ArmsOfLove 03-08-2007 07:30 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
No--not on its own. UP as it was written has a lot of great info that I would say is beginner GBD 101 ;) Unfortunately, Kohn's ideas have been co-opted by the TCS/NCP community and if you learn about his ideas from a list or board you may have unknowingly heard those ideas instead of Kohn's unadulterated ideas.

Herbwifemama 03-08-2007 07:43 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
I first heard about the book on MDC, but I got my info from the book itself. Or rather, the bit that I skimmed. I looked it over long enough to know I wanted to buy it and read it more carefully. I'd like to read yours too, and I'd be interested in how it's "beginner GBD 101". :)

ArmsOfLove 03-08-2007 07:54 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
well he challenges the cultural embrace of punishment and manipulation to get our way as parents. A rejection of that is assumed in GBD :)

Herbwifemama 03-08-2007 08:14 PM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Ah, I see. :) I think I'd definitely like to read both. :)

iburnbrownies 10-15-2007 05:21 AM

Re: A Very Important GCM Statement
 
Hi -- I am new here and I had not heard of GBD before I joined here -- it is basically what we do (try to do :)) as parents already but I had never heard it labelled as a certain approach -- so it is great to be affirmed and encouraged in that way! We all need reminders though, and I love your summary of GBD -- I am printing it and putting it on the fridge with our monthly text! Just wanted to encourage you and let you know what a positive influence this forum can be!

Have a great day!


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