help. i'm here now too.
my dd is a screamer. she screams so loud and long over the smallest think you would think someone was constantly torturing her or her leg was broken.
lately she has been boycotting sleep. we are trying to figure out the reason, but in the mean time, she screams bloody murder in my ears when she doesn't get her way or i am trying to put her to bed.
it triggers my anger, my yelling, and i have also allowed myself to say sarcastic, dismissive and mean things to her when she is being dramatic and carrying on with her screaming. it also triggers me to ignore her... which only makes her talk more/faster/louder.
another trigger is not listening to me when she's in danger and i've given her the same instructions 50 times before. i know she's immature and clearly does not remember my rules, but as irrational as she's being in those moments, i'm being just as irrational. this is less of an angry yell and more of a get her attention but irritated none the less yell.
i also cannot believe i have let myself become this way as a parent. it is surreal to hear the sounds and words that can come out of my mouth. my father was incredibly mean and yelled a lot. he was verbally abusive and i vowed never to be that way. but what's ive become is passive and passive aggressive and i almost think i should check myself in therapy to deal with it.
it feels good to have a place to get this out of me. even typing this out makes me feel like at least i'm trying to stop... at least i'm not just being ashamed and keeping it inside.
lately the words, "don't yell crystal. don't lose control. keep it together... figure out a solution" have been running through my head which is a break through. before i just had feelings in my body and let that be what controlled the words that came out of my mouth.
---------- Post added at 11:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:08 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem mama
I also know that if I have an audience it's easier to stay calm.
|
this is the same for me. sometimes i wish i lived in community just for this reason. i know i wouldn't feel free to lash out if there were others around me to keep me accountable to my actions.