Mcilvainmama, This is me to a T. Have you considered post partum depression or ever post partum psychosis? I yelled at DS while slamming a door and telling him I hated him the other day with such rage and anger that I scared myself and my newborn didn't flinch either. Poor soul is used to my rampages I suppose. I've yelled in the past. I'm not perfect. But this is WAY beyond anything I've ever done in the past. Way beyond it. I have horrible post partum depression. So bad I'm taking a couple meds and I'm not a med person.