YES!!! Please make this a sticky!! It propogated so many lightbulb moments for me. I am not new to GBD, but have been struggling to overcome the punitive thinking I grew up with. DS and DD are coming into their more mature personalities and have strong wills. (I wonder where they get it from? LoL) In these new challenges, I keep coming back to the punitive or gentle question and then feel stressed bc when I use gentleness, my 5yo DS ignores me.
I have lately been yelling a lot. I found too that the yelling sets a tone which can become a mood. I don't like this pattern but seemed stuck in it. The questions posed in the first post definitely caused "aha!" moments for me. I think I am now at a breakthrough!!!
This explanation could really steer newbies in the right direction as a sticky!