Quote:
Originally Posted by ruhama
Thank you, 42. I appreciate you approaching it from that perspective. Nothing I say will change minds on theology.
My feeling is (from that perspective) - how can we accurately judge their hearts when our eyes are clouded with our own sin nature? Children are not responsible for their sin as toddlers, why do people set out to judge their hearts so early (0-5 years) and then punish them for their sins?
I just see total-depravity as something that is COMPLETELY unhelpful in a parenting perspective. It's like other hard doctrine points (mostly regarding Calvinism, b/c well... PCA) - they aren't practical or understandable in many ways when it comes down to the observable ways in which children (people) learn, trust, and grow.
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Actually, theologically the way I parent stems from my belief in things like total depravity and election.
It makes total sense, and really I think is a good representation of grace.
My kids are totally depraved people.
nothing I do or don't do is going to change their "being dead in their trespasses and sins" as Ephesians words is. Any more than anything *I* do is going to change *my* condition. It is all Christ. All of it. Which means I can do a terrible cruddy job, and if God had got them, they are sealed beyond my own attempts to either steal or destroy.
So I look into scripture and read about how we are to treat others, and treat my kids accordingly. When the burden of perfecting them is gone, I can trust completely that he will be faithful to my kids.
I also believe that God will honor the covenant that we have made to him, and be faithful to save my kids. Now I don't think there is a guarantee or anything like that, but I'm trusting that God will save them.
Honestly, I can see that grace in my own FOO, two toxic people raised their kids in an abusive paradigm, BUT they also relied on Christ, loved God, and tried to live according to his word. They don't see it, but God has shown an intense amount of grace to me and my siblings despite everything they did "wrong". I God can do that for us, what will he do with my kids?
*the previous post was my attempt to explain complicated doctrine stuff on less than 3 hours of sleep and no caffeine. It may or may not sortof communicate what I was trying to say.*