We had a youth group meeting once where the leader asked us to write down our virtues and vices (I don't think that was the words he used, but you know what I mean). I think we all wrote down more vices than virtues. The leader pointed out that we have a tendency to expect near perfection of our virtues before we'll acknowledge them. That is, we won't call ourselves 'patient' unless we are almost NEVER impatient. I'm lazy unless I'm doing something useful every.single.waking.second; I'm not humble if I ever feel the least skerrick of pride; I'm not a gentle mum because I often yell at my kids... etc, etc
It can be helpful, I find, to remind myself of how much I do, how much patience I show, how I'm growing in gentleness etc. It helps me be patient with myself, which gives me a little more patience with others.