[expatmom]

Originally Posted by Virginia

One can focus on relationships and openness and also ban apps or other technology; the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s not an either/or


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Actually parenting teens is very different then working with them. I know; I work with teens and now parent teens. A lot of the confidence I previously spoke with has been moderated by life experience as a parent.

If your mindset is to ban, that is actually in direct opposition to openness. I don't parent from the mindset of what can't my teens do and how do I stop them. Our household isn't rules based. The OP posts regularly on how to keep track of her teen and how to prevent him from making choices she wouldn't. That is a rules based approach and it shuts down communication. In a very short time a teen becomes an adult. I parent from the approach of giving maximum choice and self autonomy with a huge safety net of mom. I want my kids' boundaries to be driven internally by their own convictions. We talk and talk and talk. Sometimes they do stupid things. I treasure the fact that when they do, they will come to me and tell me and look for my support or assistance.

Snapchat is a dumb app. It will have its life and then another annoying app will take its place. I remember when my eldest was plagued with msn messenger problems and we parents railed against how awful it was. Does anyone even know what it is now? Our kids are going to see and hear things on this world and need tools to deal with them. Banning an app sends the message that we don't trust them to deal with crap and I think that a 15/16 yr old needs to be developing/practicing those tools. I am grateful that my dd who is away at uni had a few years to practice at home with me for support.