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Old 04-12-2012, 08:22 PM   #8
SubarbanHippie
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Default Re: How to parent patiently when you need to grieve

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I dealt with grief and feeling overwhelmed two and a half years ago when my mother-in-law passed away suddenly from a heart attack. I dealt with a lot of emotions. I was trying to help my husband cope. I was trying to help his family where they needed it. I had my own grief. She had a three day viewing and I had to be there the entire time. On top of all of that, I had to tend to things at home.

Obviously my son, having no concept of grief that adults feel, wasn't exactly cutting me any slack. I really had to walk the fine line of allowing myself to grieve, but do it in private so I wouldn't overly upset my husband or frighten my son. My son asked us every day for a month after the funeral if she was a skeleton yet. I think one thing that helped was my mother really helped me by taking care of my DS while I needed to help care for my husband and attend the funeral. And then at night, I allowed myself time to process my feelings of remorse (I never visited her in the nursing home), grief, sadness that I never got to know her without her having Alzheimer's Disease. Sadness for my husband not having any living parents or grandparents.

My advice is let your husband help where he wants to help and grieve when you feel the need to grieve. Bottling it up inside makes it so much harder.
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