Quote:
Originally Posted by Amazement
If I said "Will you..." to a student or a child and they answered "No, I don't want to," I'd think it was rude. So I guess maybe I use "Will you please" as a command. But then again, I ask my husband, "Will you please..." a lot, and I'm not in the habit of issuing him commands. But then again, if I said something like, "Honey, will you please help me with these groceries?" and he said, "No, I don't want to," I'd think that was rude too. If he had a good reason for saying no, he'd give it, and then I'd be fine with it. But I'd be if he just said no without explaining. So I guess in our house "Will you please" is a gray area between an option and a command.
If something is truly optional I say, "Do me a favor? Could you..." Favors are optional. And I guess the conditional tense is also a way of signaling that it is optional, although I've never thought about it that way before.
|
I think this is a very valid point.
I totally understand the point of not "asking" our children to do something if it isn't optional so that we are clearly communicating. But, I rarely "command" my husband to help me with something and I would be offended if he refused when I "asked". So, obviously I'm not communicating very clearly but I don't know a better way.