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Old 03-14-2008, 07:13 AM   #62
Spanish Rose
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Default Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary

Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiyank
Chapter Five: Problem Solving Tools

The author has developed a "problem solving summary" known as STAR. There are a variety of things that upset children and many ways to solve problems...the STAR method is a general summary of the problem-solving method.

Stop and focus.
Think of ideas.
Act effectively.
Review and revise.

Stop and focus - there are two parts to this. The first is looking at yourself (calming yourself, perhaps using the self-calming tools from the previous chapters) and the next is defining the problem (what is really the issue here? How do you feel? etc.)

Think of ideas - brainstorm many ideas (this is not the time for evaluating the ideas, so just write them all down). Aim for one idea per year until age 12. If having difficulties, think of what a wise person you know might suggest, or what you'd do if you were a magician or had a million dollars.

Act effectively - evaluate the ideas. Select the best one or two and plan to implement it/them. Is it realistic and respectful? Work immediately and long term? Adapt and change as needed. When can you implement the idea? Who will be involved? When will you review how it worked? Think of potential road-blocks you might need to overcome.

Review and revise - how did it go? Was it successful? Consider why. If not, why did it fail? Sometimes it takes more than one approach to solve a long-standing problem.

You can help introduce this tool by modelling it yourself. The example the author gave was a repairman calling that a dryer part wouldn't be availble and how the mom brainstormed ideas (hang dry, go through clothes and see if they are clean enough to wear, laundromat, etc).

This process can be used for problems with "people" and with "things," the main difference would be the type of solutions you come up with. I will summarize the differences between this methods and the rest of the chapter soon.


Snapdragon is making real progress in problem solving--it's quite amazing, actually. He goes through a process similar to this. I think I'll print this out and show it to him, so that when he gets stuck on a part I can remind him what to do. "good job. You've identified the problem. What can we do about it?"

Thank you!
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