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Originally Posted by sienna
But sometimes it just has to stop, doesn't it? LIke hitting the baby, or doing something extremely antisocial or inconsiderate. How can we expect our kids to develop self control if we don't act like we expect them to do so?
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You set the high standard; you step in to make it happen when they can't meet it on their own. That *is* the grace. IOW, you remove the older child from the baby or the baby from the older child and make hitting them impossible. You make it happen.
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I have to admit that this is a real conundrum for be. He is just 2 or 3 or 4 or 5.....When my friends who expect their kids to learn self control and "train" them to develop it manage to get their kids to not do things my much older kids are doing.
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I am consistent with my children and they learn things younger than if I did nothing
But even those spanking parents have difficulty with this or that issue for longer with this or that child--just no one blames their "methods" for the problem--must be something wrong with the child
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Aaaaaaaand i note that my 7 year old can and does avoid the street and the fireplace but will NOT stop jumping on the furniture. He was constantly riding my daughter's ride on toy (and scratching the wood floors) until i told him if he did it again he would not ride his bike for two days...and guess what? VOILA self control.
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At 7 there is nothing wrong with related, respectful, relevant and helpful solutions
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:bang head:
i hate it when being punitive works.
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Being punitive doesn't work
Being consistent does. Of course I may define "works" differently from you. I expect things that work to have short term effectiveness and long term achieving of bigger goals. So in the short term I remove/move the child and tell them the rule and make it happen; in the long term I transfer the ability to stop over to them