This is a great thread. Eye opening, even. But what about the 3 year old that still says "NO!" to the direct command? That's where the 5 steps comes in, no?
The 5 steps in this house just end up looking like me (struggling to maintain my composure) physically dragging said 3 year old (who is doing the limp noodle thing, while whining "no....no....no....") around, cleaning up toys or whatever. Me holding her hand closed over the toy, then prying her hand open to release it into the box.....