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Old 08-28-2020, 05:07 PM   #74
knitlove
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Location: Seattle area
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Default Re: I thought grace baised parenting would show fruit

Everything I am seeing on the plan b Facebook page reads as very very permissive. Today someone was talking about an older child physically attacking a younger child and all the reponces were how you need to talk to the older child more and do your best to keep the yonger one away. There were no lines to draw.


Can I look at those books and see that there is a line to draw because that is not what I am seeing in the Facebook group. I read the book years ago and honistly I am not looking forom reading it again from the Facebook group.

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---------- Post added at 07:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:52 PM ----------

I don't know exactly what he wants to do. Something along the lines of if she scremas at all the answer is just no.

But I don't see how to make that work and get any school accomplished.

My working would he if she has an issue she talks to me about it a volume that dh can't hear(on the other side of the house though tow closed doors and headphones). That she will talk about it with me untill we come to a ressoution. Not stomping off yelling that I am wrong ( the best one thus week was 20 min of yelling that a squarthat has a side of 5' is 5squsre feet - I just closed it and trued to go over it the next day and was treated with 15 of screaming that me using manupulstives that I made and working with her wasn't math because it wasn't a work sheet- after I bribed her with chocolate milk 4 hours latter to work with me she imedeatly rembered how to do it as the gave me a rant about how I must think she is an idot that I need to explain this to her). I really really am quite flexible in what is expected for school but I need her to realize that ocasionally she actually doenst already know everything.


The every day not school related is really similar. I need her to if there is an issue not start screaming stomping off but express what here issue is and see if we can come to a solution.

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---------- Post added at 07:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:02 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Love_Is_Patient View Post
At her age I don’t see letting her scream by herself as punitive or unacceptable. She has to come to a realization that she is in fact responsible for her responses, and it could be that you trying to do things to help her is actually interfering with that. So if dh wants to try “going to your room until you can speak/behave reasonably“, then at her age I would try it
Do we just leave her there indefinitely? If she has her kendel she is perfectly happy to nevaer interact with is. If I really out no requirement on it she will ignore us all day and not come out for food. She would probably come out at bedtime because she wants us to stand by her bed for her to go to sleep.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk
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Wife to a wonderful DH for 19 years.
Momma to my 29 weeker Early Bird who is thirteen
and my little Wiggle Worm born 33 weeks who is nine.
How do I have a teenager?! I don't feel ready for this.
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