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Old 05-16-2012, 11:06 AM   #43
Amazement
Rose Blossom
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
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Default Re: Pet Peeve #5 by my own mom

I think the please/not please thing is a personal preference. I prefer saying please to dd, partly because I prefer it when people say please to me. If other people find that it confuses their kids, then I totally understand why they would leave it off. But I also think that at some point it's worth having a conversation with kids about how people communicate differently, and that for some people saying "please" or "will you please" means that they're trying to be polite and respectful to you, not that they're giving you options. Not in a "Look how poorly other people communicate" kind of way, but in a "Your life will be a whole lot easier if you learn how to deal with other people's communication styles" kind of way.

Of course that discussion would have to wait until kids are old enough to get it. I don't know when that would be. My oldest dd is only 2.5. We're still working on responding to requests with something other than a NOOOOOO and a meltdown.

---------- Post added at 02:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:52 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by stillsmallvoice View Post
What about when they start telling you "Get me some juice." instead of asking you for juice?
I have looked at asking them to do things nicely as modeling how to be polite instead of bossy.
I say please to DD and she still says things like "Get me some juice." Then I tell her to try again and ask nicely. Maybe my modeling "please" to her makes it easier for her to understand why she has to ask "May I have some juice please?" On the other hand, it may also make it harder for her to understand why I can say no when she asks for juice, and she can't say no when I ask her to put away her shoes. There's just no getting around the fact that adults and kids are different. I have the authority to tell her that she has to put away her shoes, but she does not have the authority to tell me I have to give her juice. I can see why that could be confusing, but it's true and it's something I need to teach her as she get older.
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