[Katigre]

Originally Posted by LovelyGourmet

Screen time is only allowed 3 days out of the week and then only if school and chores are done. Same thing with having friends over or going to friends houses. I'm wondering if it's too far removed to be motivating though. Maybe if each subject is worth a certain amount of screen time that would be more motivating? It is hard to keep track of how much screen time they are having though which is why I haven't done it as a time limit before and used the natural flow of our day and limiting what days to keep screen time minimal.

We have tried backing off of school a few times... to the point that I feel like he isn't where he should be. Every time we start more things he complains that "we didn't have to do this last week".

I agree with you that it doesn't sound like backing off school is the right solution when this has been a long-standing issue in his work ethic/attitude toward school. That's building a habit that runs counter to long-term homeschooling success.

Plus, he's reaching an age where academics shouldn't be decreasing in time but be increasing as he moves into more content-rich areas after mastering the 3 R's of early elementary school. Those content subjects take time - no matter how you tackle them - and I would be concerned that building an expectation of school as something he does less of the more he resists may make moving into more in-depth science, history, reading, writing, math something he resists instead of embraces as a good, enjoyable part of his homeschooling.

I believe strongly in challenging kids in the realm of school. My kids best academic growth has come when they faced an assignment that intimidated them and initially led to some tears and frustration. But I didn't back off of requiring it, I knew they were capable of it, we kept working on it, and they were so proud of themselves when they finished and saw what they'd produced. Working through the process of academic challenge has built a real sense of accomplishment of what they're capable of, above and beyond what they initially thought. Both my older kids (8 and 11) have referred back to those experiences to encourage their siblings when they face a challenge with their schoolwork and question their ability to tackle it. Those types of experiences of conquering a challenge are important for developing self-confidence IMO.

Is homeschooling the right choice for him? Every parent-child relationship is different, and what can be a great fit for some can be less optimal for others. Not all kids learn well from their parents at home, and some do better in a classroom setting (just like not all kids learn well in a classroom setting, and some learn better at home with their parents instead).