[CJNeeley]

I apologize for yelling (because that's the one I tend to slip and do), remind them why I/we shouldn't yell, then say something like, "Let's try that again, shall we?" before readdressing their behavior calmly in a brief, direct matter of fact way and we take a break. I don't tend toward giving a reason for why I yelled in the moment because I don't want them to twist it into being their fault. (I will sometimes explain later apart from the occurrence if they ask, but I still try to choose my words carefully to maintain that it was my own fault I yelled. I also try to point out other contributing factors--like in my case, skipped meals lead to 'hanger' so I might talk about how not stopping to eat lunch because I ____ instead/or being tired/or having pain or fever/or being in the middle of an illness or a flare/etc--and how that made me feel grumpier to start with so that their was a shorter distance needed for me to feel overwhelmed. This kind of seems to help them identify their own weaknesses rather than blaming each other as often... but certain of my kids just seem prone to reflection and others to deflection and excuses.)