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Old 06-11-2005, 11:21 AM   #25
apbristowmom
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Default Re: Why not time outs?

Hi Crystal, I'm new here and am so happy I found this site! It's so hard to find AP Chrisitian mommies!! I am so interested in learning more about GBD. My son is overall very well behaved (we are very blessed) although I have to say year 4 has been harder than what people say about year 2.... for us anyway. I am anxious to learn ideas....but I was laying in bed the other night thinking about how Christ disciplines us and I immediately thought of the garden. How God covered them with clothing and what a picture that is of Christs covering of our sins. But then I thought about God making them leave the garden, and that seems to have a punitive aspect to it. He could have left them there, but he didn't. We also can't take the times in the Bible they talk about stoning disobedient children and use that as a reason for hurting our children, anymore than Gary Ezzo should be using Christ's words on the cross to advocate letting our chilren cry out without our attention. I'm interested in positive alternatives. I definately don't like it when my son is disobedient, and we truly try to find out what the root issue is....hunger, tiredness etc... but sometimes when you say for instance, "sweetheart that is mommy's necklace and it can break if you pull on it. Please come here and I'll put it on for you or whatever.....then when the child won't come or your afraid he might break something valuable or hurt himself....I'm not sure what to do. He has always been so good about knowing his boundaries i.e. his drawers in my jewelry armoire.....with things he can play with. I have even sometimes just set him in "time out" (the foot of our indoor stairs) and had him eat a snack and then come out when he was done. Mainly to get his bloodsugar up (which was why he was being disrespectful) but to also let him know that that type of speaking to each other is unacceptable in our home. What are your thoughts? I'm truly interested in ideas....and finding ways that God finds acceptable to help our chilren grow. And ways that don't involve us getting upset with one another or having power struggles.

I'm a former elementary school teacher and have always found that giving chilren choices is important in discipline. For instance, come over here and let mommy put the neclace on for you, or we can put it away.....or we've often said it's o.k. if your tummy is too full for any more dinner. But if your tummy is too full for dinner then it's surely too full for dessert. You can choose to eat a little more.....whatever.....but if you truly don't want it that's fine too. Then he would not get the dessert, and he has made the choice to fill his body with what he feels he can hold and I've made sure he has eaten some healthy food in the process. I used lots of incentives for positive discipline in my classroom, but have avoided using anything too structured at home.....I'm afraid I'll start running the place like a classroom of 25 instead of a family of 3. Discipline is an interesting aspect of parenting. Thank God for his word and that love covers a multitude of sins right!?

Thanks for your insight

Dionne
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