FWIW, that isn't even how you would speak to a friend.
My 10 year old requires lots of reminders that she is to treat everyone with respect and that while I am a kind mother I am still mother and I have God given authority to guide and teach her. She doesn't like it but I figure it's just part of the growing process. The testing of boundaries and the eventual pulling away from under our authority to stand on their own as adults.
I also don't engage when my 10 year old decides to speak snark.
"you need to rinse your dish"
"you didn't rinse your dish!"
"You are responsible for you. Your responsibility is to rinse your dish."
It doesn't avoid the grumbling but it does stop the deflecting back to me and the snark.