Lois

I would suggest you sit down over coffee with DD and talk to her about it all. First validate how you believe she is feeling (ie privacy, not wanting to shair with sisters, remembering how you felt at that age, etc) let her talk about how she is feeling about things, then say you are here to try and work out something that will work for both of you because you are a family team. I would let her know some of the issues that you are dealing with as far as family living space and how helpful it would be if she were able to help you figure out some idea to help. She maybe willing to open up her "space" if it's her idea or she comes around to it of her own accord. My parents taking me out one on one would have spoken volumes to me of my "valued individualness" at that age. Also she still desires to be involved in making decisions and so helping her think of ones that she can make, help her feel as though she has a say in what happens in her life...kwim? Not an expert here but just some ideas