[LearningMama]

I remember reading a recent thread here where some mamas talked about running away as teens. This helped me remember a time in elementary school where I attempted to run away.

My mom and I were on our way home and during the drive I was plotting my escape. I was going to run into the woods just before my street and never come back. THIS was going to be the day I finally did it. When we got home I had my doll in my arms and started walking, I made it to the end of the driveway. Then my mom asked me what I was doing and I turned around and went in the house.

Since discovering GCM I have learned that I was not simply disciplined by my singer-mother. I was abused. I don't remember ever having any marks but I was so afraid of her when she was mad that I thought she was literally going to turn into a monster. Once, maybe in middle school, I asked her why she didn't hit me with a belt (although I remember her doing it once), she said that she would get so mad she would just swing(which included her hitting me with whatever was in her hand). Can we say hitting in anger? The church I grew up in had no parenting guru, you just spanked anyway you wanted. Not until maybe high school did I hear a guest speak at the church say not to hit your kids in anger.

I could go on with the things that were done to me but my question is, how normal is wanting to run away? How much of it has to do with problems at home versus just being a kid and not liking the rules in your home? Does it vary depending on how old you are when you want to leave? I'm still trying to unpack my life.