[Cook]

Okay I've been embarrassed to post here but so many other brave ladies have gone before me and just writing it out helps me be accountable.

I was a prospank propunitive parent for a long time. Honestly, now, I don't care what others do. I mean, God carried me through my own trials, I feel bad for the kids but I have faith that He is big enough to restore His children no matter what they go through. I feel bad for parents who are disciplining without disernment or faith though- because I know that can be a very lonely and difficult place... And I feel horrible for parents that don't have all the tools I've found. As parents we need anything we can get!

I yell when I feel like I cannot control outcomes.
I yell when I feel like I'm not being taken seriously.
I yell when my kids are not hearing me.
I yell when I've lost my temper (which I do struggle with but is worse relating to sleep and meal patterns)
I yell when I am in pain.
I yell when I'm frustrated about something else.
I yell when I'm overwhelmed.
I yell when I'm spiritually hurting or distant from God.

When I decided to move away from the punitive parenting approach, yelling was the only "tool" I allowed myself to still use. It wasn't "as bad" right? But it is bad. I know that. I know that the effect of yelling can be even worse than physical punishment.

I find that many times in life, focusing on where you've gotten it right is the key to getting it wrong less. So I'm also going to think over why I have times that I yell less, and I'll be back to post on that!