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Old 06-11-2018, 09:15 AM   #7
sweetpeas
Rose Trellis
 
 
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Default Re: Ideas for the unmotivated child

As far as academics, a year ago I was sure Lina (just turned 8 at that point) would never show any interest in academics, including learning to read. Throughout last school year I made suggestions, I offered things, sometimes she jumped on something and we did it full-speed ahead for awhile. Sometimes she hated it, and we dropped it. The default when she was/is board, is audiobooks. I finally made peace with her school last year being primarily those audiobooks. And then, sometime this winter (when she was 8 3/4 or so), she started reading, and asking for more books. More and more, when I offer school ideas, she likes the idea and we run with it. Perhaps most interesting, often when she says she doesn't want to do something (school wise, this doesn't seem to work for chores LOL), if I shrug and say "ok, that's fine" she goes ahead and does it. Sometimes does MORE than I asked. . . it's like she desperately needs it to be her idea and then she thrives. I can't really explain it ("unschooling" the older girls was easy, they begged to learn more about all kinds of things. All it took to get them to tackle a new skill was to point out they didn't know how to do it, I joke that Ashlyn was born saying "I do it myself!" and has never stopped. Lexie's less that way, but won't let Ashlyn get ahead of her. Lina's a whole different personality, and it's been hard to believe that unschooling is "working", but I'm seeing her academics increase by leaps & bounds now, so I'm feeling more confident that she just needed that extra time before she dove into academics . . .

As far as screens, I think Lina was 7ish when I decided we needed to drastically reduce screen time (she was watching things like Wild Kratts, so I didn't care too much, but it was when I was starting to worry that she'd never be interested in academics and I thought removing screens would help - it didn't). I came up with a plan where she would earn "gems" (those flat marble things) by, not only doing her normal chores, but also doing things like listening to a story, doing a craft, playing outside, etc. My assumption was that she would only do the bare minimum of those things to earn screen time. So I expected her to go play outside for however long it took to earn enough gems to watch a half hour of tv, then come watch the half hour of tv . . . and so on. Instead, when I introduced the idea she asked if she could use the gems to earn something else instead of screen time. Uhhh, sure . . . I don't even remember now what we decided she could use the gems to earn, but she dove right in and used all her gems to earn whatever it was, and that was the end of that program. The one "free pass" I gave her for tv was when her sisters & I were watching tv (generally during meals I know what "they say" but we talk tons the rest of the time, and I started doing tv at mealtimes to get the kids to shut up and eat when they were little. It still works well, and for the big girls, we watch things like CSI and talk about the science and such). She still just assumes that she can only watch tv when we are. OR, if I leave her home with her sisters she'll ask if she can watch tv while I'm gone. I was stunned at how easy it was to break what I assumed was a screen addiction. She pretty much switched from watching tv all the time to listening to audiobooks but since there's no "watching" element, she colors or draws or plays with toys while she listens.
__________________


Busy Homeschooling Mom to 3 Sweetpeas:
Lexie & Ashlyn 16 yr old twins
and
Lina, 9
Virtual Accountant and Bookkeeper in my "spare time"
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