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Old 01-19-2010, 08:44 AM   #66
Marsha
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue-EyedLady View Post
I'll have to actually try this to see, but I think DS is too long for me to be able to do this. If I have my legs up high enough to pin down his arms, I think I'll be sitting too close to him to be able to wash his bottom. He's a tall boy (takes after DH) and I'm a short lady.

I think the problem I'm having is the part where you said "so you can lift his legs and change his diaper." If I lift his legs, he locks his knees and pushes with his feet to lift his whole body so that only his shoulders and head are on the changing table. His legs and bottom are squeezed together so that I can't actually clean up the poop. Does that make sense?

Oh - it makes me SOOOO just to think about this! I'm not mad about the poop - as they say "poop happens", right? It's the posture he uses which seems deliberately designed to frustrate me and prevent me from getting him cleaned up, and the fact that he's getting too strong for me to do anything about it.

I have to use all my strength to unlock his knees and spread his legs so that I can actually get to the poop smeared all over his whole diaper area. I usually use my left arm and entire upper body to hold him in position and block his hands as much as possible. I need to have my center of gravity over his upper body in order to have enough leverage to hold his (insanely strong) legs down. If I'm sitting on the floor, then I'm using my feet and hands (the weakest parts of my body) to hold him.

Does that make sense? I can sing a happy song all I like, but when he's screaming in my face because I'm holding him down, I feel like Mommy, the sadist. "Oh, you don't like this? You feel trapped and helpless? La la la-la-la."
oh yeah I know the physical stance you speak of. it is frustrating. And seemed designed to frustrate us. He probably does feel powerless and doing the one thing he can control. You can't bend him and break him (I've often felt like I'd break their hips or something if I tried). Have you tried talking to him? Getting him to laugh? or sing? Anything that lets him relax for that crucial 10 secondsto unlock legs and quickly clean.

And for as seeing when it happens because he is deliberately blocking you from cleaning up poop....well, that's the only thing you can control, is how you see it,w hat intent you assign to it, and how you react to it. Which is what the self talk is about.

I had girls and neither of them were SUPER hard to change. But I remember I had to change where we did it, how we did it (lying in front of the TV watching a show seemed to help some as I recall).
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Marsha Learning to be a single, wohm mom to my girls Ainslee (June 10, 2002) and Riley (August 9, 2005)!
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Blue-EyedLady (01-19-2010)
 
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