[flowermama]

Originally Posted by JeanineF

I've noticed that as they are getting older, I am getting more frustrated and yelling. I don't want to be like that. Other than prayer and being in the Word (which I am already working on my consistency with), I would appreciate any input, ideas, etc. also.....my 4 year old in particular is a very strong willed child that I struggle with....although he is my baby and "loves me best"

Things really change as they get older, don't they? A lot of us can relate to struggling with yelling. Have you ever tried validating your own feelings? It's okay to feel frustrated, we just need to, like our kiddos, learn to express it in acceptable ways. One thing that can help is, when feeling frustrated, saying verbally, outloud, "I am so frustrated!" I think Crystal is the one I heard that idea from when my children were a lot younger, and it has really helped me over the years.

Another thing that has helped me is realizing that a lot of the reason we as parents get so upset is due to our own anxieties. Have you heard of Celebrate Calm? You might find some good ideas there. Here's their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CelebrateCalm?fref=ts

I've found the ideas expressed in "The Calm Creed" by Kirk Martin of Celebrate Calm to be helpful:

1. I cannot control other people, how they behave or how they react.
2. I cannot control situations and circumstances--most are beyond my control.
3. When I react to people and circumstances, I surrender power over my emotions.
4. I can only control one thing in life--my emotions, my actions, my reactions.
5. No matter how my child or spouse behaves, I am responsible for my behavior. When I "lose it," I lose my authority. I spread and create the calm I want.

Cynthia Tobias' book "You Can't Make Me, But I Can be Persuaded" helped me better understand my strong-willed little girl so many years ago (my daughter is 19 now). Another book that I like is "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Also, you might like "ScreamFree Parenting" by Hal Edward Runkel.

I hope something I've shared might be at least a little helpful!