man, I've been struggling the past few weeks with this.
I'm in the process of making some changes in my parenting/discipline methods and that's helping, but it's moving me further away from the ideals of this board. I don't know what that means for my place here.
The stress of constantly trying so hard to be non punitive, and failing so miserable, has ended up being very damaging to my family and my marriage. I'm not sure where we'll end up but we're in a much better place right now.