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Old 01-17-2010, 08:03 PM   #29
allisonintx
Rose Garden
 
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Ok. This morning is a good example.

We cleaned quite a lot this week. The kids worked in the Family room for days, because it was such a disaster.
They had friends sleep over Friday night, and they trashed the room. I went in there and saw the floor. Oh my word, I was furious. Mad. Seeing Red.

What I would have done before: Scream all the children's names, call them on the floor, yell at them about how trashed the room was and ORDER them to get busy making it right, with no little guilt and shame to go along with the instructions.

What actually happened:
I took a deep breath and had a big sigh. I was actually hurt because the room was a wreck, and frustrated because we had worked so hard to make it nice, and also frustrated because, now, I was going to have to be the Mean Mommy and make them come back and work until it was clean AGAIN. I validated my own feelings about the mess in the room, my hurt and frustration, and was able to just call the kids and say,

"you guys thrashed this room. I feel hurt that you left it this way after we worked so hard. Leaving it like this was disrespectful to me and to yourselves and all the hard work we did together. You need to fix that. You may go back outside to play once it's put to rights."

15 minutes later, the solution had been affected, and the girls went back to play
__________________


allisonintx
Wife to Stephen
Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12

Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home.
. . . . . . .



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