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Old 05-07-2006, 10:00 AM   #12
raisa
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Default Re: What do you say? How do you explain it? We should have a script!

That is kind of cool that she asked you outright. IME people are more likely to bring this up by saying "I found out I HAD to spank when they started doing blah blah" Or anecdotes: "Do you remember Kim? She doesn't spank, and her kids stay up all night eating ice cream and calling her names." I panic too in these situation. I have so many thoughts, feelings and fears they tend to "flood" me.

I try to communicate my connection with them, as parents, like "That's the big question, isn't it? I'm really driven to seek the best discipline for my children. I know I turned out fine, but I really want to learn from my experience and see if there's something even better out there." And my enthusiasm for GBD: "I found this GREAT website, made some friends who are really helping me figure things out." And my commitment to boundaries and authority: "I want my kids to know what's expected of them, and what our families rules are." Then from there (if they're still listening) I would talk about how I see discipline as "helping and teaching," etc. I wouldn't go into spanking unless asked outright. Then I say "I can't allow myself to spank and DH won't spank. So I have to be creative and think of everything I can to avoid it."

And you could say "hey I read this great book, I'll see if I can find it." Then you can follow up (emailing a link, lending the book) at a time when you have your thoughts more in order. So you're not so pressured in the moment.

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