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Old 09-29-2007, 12:14 AM   #13
CapeTownMommy
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Default Re: Enforcing (or not!) House Rules - when is it permissive/punitive?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerlily
So your saiying that in the middle of, say, helping a child to her room, if the attitude changes allow child to go back to former activity?
I would guess yes - the point of sending them to their room is to have them calm down and choose to act respectfully. So for example, if dd is doing something she's not supposed to, (let's say she's screaming and we've come to the point where I take her to the comfort spot until she's calmed down), and she calms down on her way to the comfort spot, I would guess she doesn't need the comfort spot any more.

I don't really fully understand GBD yet, so someone correct me here please, but it seems to me that the consequence is not where the teaching occurs - the consequence is for the immediate correction of behavior. We need to teach our children to act respectfully etc., but that is not done through the consequence of them NOT doing what we want them to do. That happens by our example, by our giving them a chance to change their behavior, explaining what the better behavior is, having them repeat the better thing to say, etc. So if the consequence is cut short, that doesn't mean he'll never learn not to be disrespectful. The purpose of the consequence was to help him stop the behavior NOW - and your ongoing parenting of him is where he learns how to act better in that situation. So if he stops the behavior without the consequence, the consequence is not necessary.

Or is that too permissive?
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