I know I've been learning and growing in grace-based discipline for just a little over a year, but the idea of defiance had to get thrown out the window pretty early on. You are so right, and I love how you expresed yourself!
A defiant act by my child makes no difference in how I handle a situation, except I may feel the need to address other issues. Either character issues, or more likely in my home, organic issues. Defiance is a cue to me to start looking at areas in my kids lives that need my intervention: food, bedtimes, interaction, downtime, or activity.