[Beth1231]

Originally Posted by bec28

Guys, thank you so much This is so hugely validating. So many great ideas to try. DH, DS and I had some really good talks yesterday and I've discovered some things I need to change, and ways to help DS. I think I was just looking at him and seeing a big kid, and expecting way to much in the way of emotional maturity.

Thanks for affirming that this is hard, but it will get better. And that I'm not completely ruining my children.

This is huge. Looking at your oldest and seeing a big kid. My daughter is four and six years older than her brothers and I struggle with expecting too much all.the.time.
My friends with older kids set me straight a lot in the best way. It also helps me to observe moms who are being too hard on their oldest....and their oldest is a baby in my eyes. That kind of snaps me back to reality and I'm able to see my oldest as a nine year old child. Not a teen. Not a young adult. A kid. And I breathe more and things are better between us until I forget again.