master maker of stickies
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 654
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Re: Collected Past Posts Sharing Success Stories
Post by: Myrtle on July 10, 2007, 08:13:13 AM
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My mom is a clinical psychologist, and she got the biggest kick yesterday when dd said, "Caleb isn't respecting my boundaries!"
Dd also said she wanted to smash the whole world (from When Sophie Gets Angry, Really, Really Angry) and she kicked a ball across the room. I love that she knows it's ok to have big feelings, angry feelings, but that it isn't ok to hit someone b/c of them. I love that she's learning ways to deal with anger instead of just being shut up and forced to squelch it so she appears more pleasant to be around. I love how GBD encourages real kids to be real people.
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Post by: 3PeasInAPod on July 10, 2007, 09:03:39 AM
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My ds is just 18 months, so it's a combination of AP & GBD. But as someone else said, it's the empathy that I see in Ben that melts my heart. He is incredibly sweet - gives lots of kisses and hugs. When he sees a baby crying , he stops & goes over to the baby & pats the baby or tries to tell me about it!
I've been noticing his desire to please me - meaning, when he takes something he isn't supposed to have & I say "please put it back" & he goes & puts it back & I sign "thank you" & he claps! He is a big helper & I can tell he loves to see the smile on my face & the praise I give him for doing that task --
I know I won't be (or haven't been at times) perfect with GBD, but I also love that he will have no memory of me hitting him or washing his mouth out w/soap, or making him sit in a corner, etc..
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Post by: AdrienneQW on July 10, 2007, 11:28:45 AM
Post by: Wonder Woman on July 10, 2007, 03:56:57 PM
Post by: ArmsOfLove on July 10, 2007, 10:48:26 PM
Post by: FoxDenLane on July 12, 2007, 01:00:18 PM
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Two things that come to my mind are:
* My 4yo praying for kindness towards his brother
* The concern and affection my boys have for "their baby"
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Post by: joy on July 16, 2007, 04:15:37 AM
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We were out to eat yesterday and I stood DS on the floor next to our table (he is 20 months) while I collected our things. He started to stomp away and I led him back by the hand and said "Not yet sweetie! Stay with me!" And he hollered a protest, but he stayed right there! I was putting the money on the table and thinking to myself, "oh my gosh!! He's listening to me!"
I don't know if that counts... but I whatever we have been doing in regards to not spanking and being respectful of him as a little person ("free to be you and me, but I'm not going to let you get hurt" is kinda the vibe these days) I felt at that moment that we had accomplished something.
When it was time to go, I took his hand, we visited the fish tank nearby, and we were off.
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Post by: Wonder Woman on July 16, 2007, 04:35:05 AM
Post by: klpmommy on July 16, 2007, 05:03:56 PM
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I know this isn't quite the same thing as the other posts, but...another thread made me think about this, one thing I *love* about GBD is that I can parent the exact same way in public as I do in private. I don't need to "threaten" my kids with a spanking when I get home. I don't need to figure out how to do a time out when away. I don't lose control when I am in public b/c they know I won't follow through in the same way when at the grocery store as when in our house. GBD is consistent in ways that punitive parenting isn't. I know when we were at WDW earlier this year & P was having a total meltdown I was able to find a spot to sit & bear hug him just like I would have done at home until he calmed down. I love that I look to the heart of the matter rather than the outside (tired, hungry, bored, needs my attention, etc). I feel really connected to my kids & I feel like I know them really well b/c of AP & GBD.
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Post by: gentlebirth on July 16, 2007, 06:21:15 PM
Post by: AdrienneQW on July 16, 2007, 06:57:23 PM
Post by: Can Dance on July 16, 2007, 07:09:40 PM
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what I like most about GBD is that I have "permission" to pick up my screaming three year old and cuddle her to calm down even when I am feeling really adversarial. if I was stuck in the punitive mindset, I would take her screaming personally, assign lots of negative intent, maybe even think she was *trying* to make me angry. and with GBD it doesn't really matter. for us to be adversaries, I have to pick up my end of the rope.
so thought I won't lie and say I have found 3 easy (because ohmygoodness I do not have an easy three year old), I am glad we are surviving through this with our relationship in tact. I love the fact that she labels and reflects my feelings before I know I am having them "mommy you angry? mommy you frustrated? mommy you sad? mommy you need to be HAPPY!" I love my child to death and I am happy I have found a way to show it that just feels right to me.
oh yeah and her empathy for others like her sister is pretty nice to see. her demand for justice "you yelled mommy, you need to give me a gentle touch!" she knows what is expected of her and points it out to me. but she is always forgiving of my mess ups, extends me grace too.
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Post by: Wonder Woman on July 16, 2007, 07:10:12 PM
Post by: Eowyn on July 16, 2007, 09:03:53 PM
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The knowledge that I can actually trust Him has been a huge discovery I found only through GBD.
I love the way GBD has taught my boys to use their words. Henry was bugging Ian tonight, and Ian said clearly, "Henry, get off my body, please."
I love that I don't have to get upset when they do kid stuff, because I know it's a passing phase, and we can get through it with GBD and time. I also love that I don't feel guilty when I parent.
Henry tried to escape at church a few times yesterday, and I didn't stress out, I just took his hand and guided him back. He stayed with me. My children calm to the sound of my voice. That alone brings me great joy.
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Post by: Jeanette598 on July 17, 2007, 12:36:35 PM
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After a lot of work with my dd (almost 4) on reflecting feelings, giving her ideas of things to do when she's angry, etc., I think she's finally getting it! Yesterday she and I were at a kids' museum playing with some Lincoln Logs. She had made a high tower of little logs, and then she asked me to put a window in next to it. In doing that, I knocked over part of her tower and said, "Oh, no!" I was fully expecting her to get angry. Instead, she said, "Mommy, you should say sorry." I did, she was okay, and we built it back up together.
Last week she was being really goofy as I was trying to get her dressed, and I was getting a little annoyed. I said, "I'm feeling frustrated. I'm going to take a few deep breaths." DD gave me a hug and said, "Mommy, you don't have to be frustrated. Just be patient."
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