[RealLifeMama]

Originally Posted by GamGam007

I want to break that cycle.

Anyone know how?

I started this thread many years ago, and I really do not consider myself a "messie" anymore, although I am far from a cleanie. My house is still not clean all the time, but I do a lot of housework and it is manageable. Most days. Granted, my youngest child is now almost two, and I have some older children that can help, so it is not just me doing all the work.

I get overwhelmed by clutter and messes and shut down as well.
I think what has broken the cycle for us is babysteps. Forming new thought processes and habits. It has taken a long time, but giving up the "I want it all clean *now* " is crucial anyhow.
Pick one area to focus on, and make a routine for that area. Make it a habit. Then, once that is a habit, work on something else.
Start with what area triggers your home anxiety the most, and focus on changing that first.
Declutter as much as possible. Do small amounts every day. What you do daily means more than what you do in spurts.
For me, the kitchen is my biggest source of anxiety. If my kitchen is taken care of, I can be at peace with the rest of the house.
I make sure the dishes are done every night (or most nights.) I have a dishwasher, and I use it once or twice a day. I try to keep the counters clear and the floor swept. And, oh yeah...I actually have to do chores every day. Multiple times a day. When my family was smaller, I could skip them and was in the mindset of skipping them. They are no longer optional. The floor in the kitchen must be swept at least once a day, if not more than one a day. It is like brushing my teeth now. I no longer have the luxury of allowing something to pile up. I remember making chore lists and home blessing challenges and thinking certain chores were maybe weekly and "Do I really need to mop my floor again? I just did that!" Making them normal things to do, not huge deals, helps the most.

I actually have a routines now that at least keep things moving. They are never *done*, but they do move along.

My house is not how I want, and if you saw my bedroom or certain areas of my home, you would , but I no longer have the paralyzing housecleaning anxiety I used to.