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MariJo7 · 07-01-2015, 12:35 AM

Sounds like a difficult situation, but not hopeless.

.

How is your situation in general? What kind of "powers" do you have? Do you have a job or a business? Do you stay at home? What kind of "services" and "benefits" you are able to grant or deny? It might be helpful to make an "inventory" of all the benefits your DH and children depend upon, so you can put a "prize tag" on them. No respect, no benefits!

In my home, my big children respect me because they depend on my money for their clothes, school books, concert tickets and many other things. I am the Ministry of Culture and Education in our home, and the kids know it. When they apply for funding, they know it is "no respect, application denied". My DH has a job and makes his own money, but sometimes he needs to ask for my help as well. And for him, it is also "no respect, no money for you".

On what kind of "money chests" are you "sitting on", or what kind of other resources are you guarding? Whatever they are, guard them carefully and do not give them away cheaply. If you do not have money of your own, you may refuse other benefits, if not asked respectfully. "No, you are not going to bring your friends on Friday, if you talk to me like that". "You ask me nicely, or it is going to be laundry strike for two weeks, especially for your stuff." "No respect, no birthday cake."

Look around and count your power resources. Ask God's help to recognize them, and if you think you need more, ask Him. He is on your side. And then, prayerfully and with God's wisdom, start to rule over what he has given you. Be tough and be fair.

By the way: The book of Proverbs has many great advice about using power in a constructive way.

07-01-2015, 12:35 AM	#5
MariJo7 Rose Trellis Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 2,065	Re: My kids are older Sounds like a difficult situation, but not hopeless. . How is your situation in general? What kind of "powers" do you have? Do you have a job or a business? Do you stay at home? What kind of "services" and "benefits" you are able to grant or deny? It might be helpful to make an "inventory" of all the benefits your DH and children depend upon, so you can put a "prize tag" on them. No respect, no benefits! In my home, my big children respect me because they depend on my money for their clothes, school books, concert tickets and many other things. I am the Ministry of Culture and Education in our home, and the kids know it. When they apply for funding, they know it is "no respect, application denied". My DH has a job and makes his own money, but sometimes he needs to ask for my help as well. And for him, it is also "no respect, no money for you". On what kind of "money chests" are you "sitting on", or what kind of other resources are you guarding? Whatever they are, guard them carefully and do not give them away cheaply. If you do not have money of your own, you may refuse other benefits, if not asked respectfully. "No, you are not going to bring your friends on Friday, if you talk to me like that". "You ask me nicely, or it is going to be laundry strike for two weeks, especially for your stuff." "No respect, no birthday cake." Look around and count your power resources. Ask God's help to recognize them, and if you think you need more, ask Him. He is on your side. And then, prayerfully and with God's wisdom, start to rule over what he has given you. Be tough and be fair. By the way: The book of Proverbs has many great advice about using power in a constructive way.

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