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Originally Posted by MarynMunchkins

There are no easy, painless ways to add a new person to your life.

How does the toddler go to sleep now? Usually, I could sit in the room with the toddler and nurse the baby. Or the toddler learned a new way to fall asleep. Transition can be difficult, but searching for a solution that will be perfect is the surest way to drive yourself crazy.

there's no point in planning because it won't turn out like she thinks it will. I'm sole nighttime parent most of the time. Bedtime looks like: me tandem nursing until both are drowsy then laying the toddler down and continuing to nurse the baby to sleep in the living room or beside the toddler if it's a bad night. Nursing the toddler with the baby in the sling with a paci. Nursing the toddler with the baby on the bed with a paci. Nursing the baby side lying while the toddler cuddles with my back. DH holding sleeping baby while I get the toddler settled for sleep.
So yeah, there is no perfect way. It just took trial and error. Before DC Lucca nursed to sleep and I slept with her. Now she puts herself to sleep and sleeps all night in her bed in her room. I never would have predicted or planned that, it's just what happened. If I knew your dads wife, I would tell her there's no point in worrying, somehow it will al work out. For the first couple months she won't know how it worked, but it will have worked. Actually I have a thread like this in here from when I was pregnant. I worried so much about how it would work, but somehow it just did.