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Old 07-18-2006, 11:37 AM   #24
akmyilee
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Default Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance

Quote:
Originally Posted by DixieKitten
Ok, so in essence are you saying that behavior training (i.e. specifics) and character training (motives) each work better when you work on them at separate times?

This makes a lot of sense, since it separates the action and the emotions from the intellectual understanding. You can't expect a kid to philosophize on something when they are upset or when you are upset.

And instead, punitive measures would be trying to moosh the two together, which would cause confusion....am I being punished for WHAT i did or for WHY (mommy assumes) I did it... which to me seems like it would incite MORE rule-testing

Plus a little toddler won't understand the whole "motive" thing anyway, so why should they be expected to understand it when they are at their most emotionally unstable?

Interesting. Thanks for the post, Crystal!!

Yes, this is good stuff...........I think will all the paridymn shifting, this is the hardest point for me........the "they are not TRYING to irk me off". I agree that Kyle is still very young, it hard to remember sometimes........Thanks to all you ladies, this is really helping me process this!
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