Don't have any specific btdt advice, but couldn't read without at least
Is there any way you can give him a choice of where to put the food and if it's perishable, then that place is in the fridge. Tell him he can have it whenever he wants, but you don't want it to go bad and make him feel yucky.
And maybe, as a compromise, could you put out a nibble tray that has things that won't spoil - some raisins, a few grapes, some popcorn or nuts, etc.?
Maybe he can even help pick out 2 or 3 things for the nibble tray and he can decide what spot to put it.
Hang in there, sweet mama
oh, and I echo what Annainprogress said about being ready to hold his hands / arms so he cannot hit you. And tell him kindly but firmly that he may not hurt himself or others when he is angry.
When not in the heat of the moment, you might also try helping him with ways that are okay for dealing with his BIG feelings of frustration or anger.