Tay, special needs children need to be treated according to their developmental age, not their actual age. Just like preemies for the first few years need to be compared to their actual age and not adjusted age. That makes it all harder--but IME having a special needs child made it even more real how much up to age 5 they were just little ones. When a 4yo is acting like a 4yo it's frustrating--when a 10yo is acting like a 4yo it's sad