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Old 03-09-2011, 09:08 AM   #32
bolt.
Rose Trellis
 
 
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Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
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Default Re: "Is This Punitive?" is missing the point of GBD

With young children (which I have) I generally find that 'in the moment' is the worst time to try to engage in teaching of any kind. Their emotions are raw, and they simply feel protective, or angry or whatever -- a state that is not excellent for learning new concepts or picking up new skills.

Instead, the incident functions as a note-to-self that these children don't have all the sharing skills (or whatever) that they need right now, so I should make a clear and specific plan to teach them those skills and practice them at a later time, when they are calm, cheerful and open to learning and pleasing their Mama.

So, in the meantime, I simply put the toy "up" to end the hard feelings and put a stop to the continuing incident -- emphasising nothing more than that I consider people more important than things.

By the time they hit 7-10 years old, perhaps the delay is not nessisary any more. Maybe I will be able to phase it out and go directly to teaching 'in the moment' as they get older -- but for now, my experiences lead me to let the incident rest and the feelings settle before trying to impart or re-enforce a skill set.
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Everything written here is the musing and mumblings of an ordinary person. Even if I take myself too seriously, there's no reason for any of you to make the same mistake!

Pam, 35 yo
Christian for 20 y
Married for 15 y
Mother to "J" 8 yo, and "M" 5 yo
INTJ, DYT 4, Canadian
1 more class until I'm done at Seminary
Adjunct Faculty at a Bible College
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