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Old 05-30-2012, 11:41 PM   #64
SewingGreenMama
Rose Trellis
 
Deuteronomy 11:19
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,051
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Default Re: Why not time outs?

Thank you for clearly explaining positive time outs! I've heard of them but the way they were explained really bothered me and made no sense so I completely dismissed it as an option! But now I'm going back and gonna figure out how to implement it.

Time outs with my oldest has always bothered me, but it was the least aggressive and punitive way I knew to stop (well attempt to stop) the melt downs, but he always begged to stay in the living room with mommy, but I only 'knew' that time outs would only work if the child was isolated for a time, but I always ended up having to go in and snuggle and talk to him, remind him that I love him etc.

Now I need to figure out how to start positive time outs without him thinking he is being punished.

Also on positive time outs, is it ok for the parent to be in the corner to snuggle too? Or is it a play by ear situation, if the child just needs a break from everyone leave them alone, but if the need comfort go in?

There is so much to figure out and I'm struggling so much trying to break deeply ingrained habits of punitive discipline that I find I spend half my time apologizing to my kids for the way I react. It has been hard and it seems to be getting harder, the habits break out at just the wrong moments and I just don't know what to replace them with is half the issue, which is why I'm so happy to have found you all and am still up at nearly 2am because there is so much I want to learn, and finally have the opportunity! I want my children to see Christ through me, not a tyrannical dictator, and that's what I feel like half the time!
Sorry I didn't mean for this post to be so long, just a lot of thoughts and long suppressed struggles and guilt bouncing in my skull that needed to come out. Thanks for listening!
__________________
"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171

"If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172

W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo
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